Jim and I chose to honor Irma's 80th birthday through the medium of poetry.
But first, I want you to know that Jim is the prime author.
I assert this because I'm not about to to bear all the responsibility for what follows.
Second, rather than an epic poem in the tradition of Beowulf, which is, of course, warranted by Irma's life arc, we have decided upon the 'limerick' form, not least because we are intimidated by my family MacDonald's reputation of satire....reinforced by sarcasm.
So let's defend our position...you may ask why its necessary to assume such as adversarial position...wait a minute...this is a gathering to honor an important member of our family...what is all this focus on the semantic details.
A limerick is defined by many as:
a five line stanza in in spondaic hexameter (remember from school that Shakespeare's verse is written in iambic pentameter)..Huh!
So here's a version of a limerick:
"There once was a man from Nantucket
who kept all his cash in a bucket
but his daughter named Nan
ran away with a man
and as for the bucket Nan-tuck-et"
So please no obvious sighs or hoots after I begin...be discreet...however foreign that might be...think of the occasion...think of this limerick as going from terrible to just bad.
Irma's Limerick
There is a young girl from Cape Charles
about whose charms there are no quarrels
'tennie brother,' 'sister,' and 'brother'
decided they didn't want another
because they know she'd steal the laurels
As a baby Irma was quite happy
the apple of the eye of her Pappy
her Mother agreed
except when Irma pee'd
and she had to change the wet nappy
She grew to great beauty and charm
yet her mother still viewed with alarm
her penchant for being out late
risking her future to cruel fate
but fortunately she survived without harm
So she still had a big problem to solve
but solutions made her head revolve
off to Flora MacDonald she went
before someplace else she got sent
and all her dreams would dissolve
So this lass went off to Red Springs
to a college where to walls ivy clings
she learned there to smoke
and to drink bourbon and coke
engaging in Highland among other flings.
For a time she worked in DC
and lived with 'brother' for free
there she captured her mate
built the bomb for the state
living life with such obvious glee
With Seth she very often did fly
in life as well as the great blue sky
she is very good and kind
there's not need to remind
that she lifted us all up very high
Then along came a baby name Julie
very cute through often unruly
cute and all that she maybe
but competitive I am you'll see
she's not as cute as her cousin yours truly
We all love this little lass named Irma
she reminds of a shave called Burma
she inspires the rhyme
and manages to stymie
any threat that might have overcome her
So let's all together now murmur
and nominate a woman called Irma
to a post quite weighty
the ripe old age of eighty
even republicans will vote to confirm her.
Katherine Ingram
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Saturday, May 02, 2009
A story about an Ingram relative in the Civil War
War Experiences of Mr. W.A. Landrum
(Mr. W.A. Landrum is Liam, Kailen, Nyal, Jessica, and James' Great Great Great Grandfather, and Mya Calderon's great, great, great, great grandfather)Compiled by Mr. Landrum in 1923 at the request of the Millican Chapter of the United Daughters of the Confederacy.
On February 1st, 1863 I was eighteen years old. The Confederate Government had passed an act conscripting all men from 18 to 60 years old. At that time one DC. Smith was organizing a Company in the State and I enlisted in it. The company was made up of 18 year old boys from the rural sections, 16 and 17 year old boys mostly from the slums of the cities and substitutes over 60 years old who had been hired to take the place of some who were conscripted.
The company was gathered at Macon, Georgia, sent to Savannah and in a few days to Florida. Much of this State (of Florida) was not settled up and many deserters and Tories collected there. Our company was often sent to capture them or to guard the ports. There were only a few railroads and we marched a great deal, often on stock paths, crossing streams, and lakes so deep that to keep our cartridges dry we put the boxes around our necks. In course of time there were other companies collected in the same way and formed the 64th Georgia Regiment.
Our first battle was at Olustee Station 15 miles above Jacksonville. We had a company of cavalry and our regiment of about 1200 men to meet the 15,000 of the enemy. Our horsemen were falling back in battle order until they reached our foot troops lined up to meet the enemy.
The Yanks has a Negro Regiment hot with liquor in the front line to open the battle. The Negro troops were killed or wounded. Our regiment which was deployed about 15 feet apart to make a semblance f a battle lien was badly cut down in a few minutes. Just at this time Colquitt's Brigade that had been rushed from Savannah arrived on the field (double-quick-on-four right-file-in-a-line) was performed as complete as I ever saw on a parade ground. The enemy was completely surprised. They had 5 day's ration in their haversacks, marching to Lake City, 60 miles north of Jacksonville and on to Tallahassee the capital. They has learned of our little Army of 12 or 15 hundred troops were all that were in the state at the time. Longleaf pines were standing on the battlefield. The Yankees has artillery and were dropping the pines limbs on us.
We charged them and captured their cannon. They rallied and came again. Fighting was desperate. In a short time, we charged them again. This time they threw down their guns and ran back to the gunboats at Jacksonville. Our cavalry followed them and reported them in their boats at 9 o'clock which made 30 miles travel and 4 ½ hours of fighting in one day.
All the commissioned officers of my company were killed or wounded so as I was Orderly Sergeant, the next in authority I was put in command of the company...a 19 year old back woods boy. Well, if my head swelled a bit my hat was not pushed off for I didn't have any. I have a cap when the battle began. I think a Yankee bullet knocked it off. A minnie ball tore one side of my boot and I had to cut it off my foot so there I was barefooted as well as bareheaded.
We rested on the battlefield that night or rather we stayed there. We had left our knapsacks and blankets at Lake City in order to march the better to the battlefield. Next day we marched toward Jacksonville capturing stragglers who could not keep up with the retreating Yankees army the night before.
We had nothing to eat. We hoped to forage on the road but the country was not settled. We were without food of any kind for 2 ½ days. Some of our boys found some wild deer and shot them. We had no salt, nothing to cook in, no bread of any kind. We broiled the meat on coals of fire. I did not like deer meat and I don't like it now, but that was the best food I ever ate.
As this is to be a short statement, I must leave out details.
So from there (Florida) we went to Virginia. (presumably by railroad.)
At the 'blow up' near Petersburg we were in the trenches on the left-wing of the blow-up and met the enemy. As they tried to break our line the smoke of the explosions and battle was so dense that many of the enemy fell in the hole as they tried to cross our line. Fighting hand to hand we succeeded in holding our line.
From there we went to “Deep Bottoms,” were ordered to hold some temporary breastworks until reinforcement could get there. The enemy broke our line on our left and came up in the rear to us.
Not knowing our line was broken we thought it was our promised reinforcements until they reached us. Perhaps ten to one they fired on s until several of our men aped their white handkerchiefs.
They (the enemy) formed us in a line, marched us double-quick between a Negro Regiment with a white commander to take us to Grant's (General later President Ulysses S Grant) headquarters at Sheetpoint. The Yanks either knew or expected our reinforcements and double-quick-ed us away. It was some consolation to hear the next day that the men who captured us had been taken prisoner (by our troops.)
At Grant's headquarters, we were offered a suit of clothes and a railroad ticket to any point that we might want to go inside of their lines if we would take the oath of allegiance to the United States Government.
Our boys bit at it and assembled the next day with their suits on. We were kept in a bullpen (a staked off clean place with guards around it) several days until a boat came and took us to the prison at Point Lookout, Maryland.
There I stayed about 2 months. The Yankees refused to exchange prisoners but offered to swap a boatload of the sick men from each side. I was selected as one of the sick. We were sent to Richmond and given a furlough and transportation home, arriving at home about the last of October 1864.
As we were not allowed to go to go into battle again, my furlough was extended until Sherman's march through Georgia and tore up the railroads. I never got to the front anymore.
I took the oath of allegiance to the United States Government at home after Lee's surrender.
Let us hope that the nations of the earth will soon embrace the teachings of the Prince of Peace, “Do unto others as you wish to be done by”, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”, “The Brotherhood of Man”, “And the Fatherhood of God”. And have no more wars.
W.A. Landrum,
Company A 64th Georgia Regiment.
Not knowing our line was broken we thought it was our promised reinforcements until they reached us. Perhaps ten to one they fired on s until several of our men aped their white handkerchiefs.
They (the enemy) formed us in a line, marched us double-quick between a Negro Regiment with a white commander to take us to Grant's (General later President Ulysses S Grant) headquarters at Sheetpoint. The Yanks either knew or expected our reinforcements and double-quick-ed us away. It was some consolation to hear the next day that the men who captured us had been taken prisoner (by our troops.)
At Grant's headquarters, we were offered a suit of clothes and a railroad ticket to any point that we might want to go inside of their lines if we would take the oath of allegiance to the United States Government.
Our boys bit at it and assembled the next day with their suits on. We were kept in a bullpen (a staked off clean place with guards around it) several days until a boat came and took us to the prison at Point Lookout, Maryland.
As we were not allowed to go to go into battle again, my furlough was extended until Sherman's march through Georgia and tore up the railroads. I never got to the front anymore.
I took the oath of allegiance to the United States Government at home after Lee's surrender.
Let us hope that the nations of the earth will soon embrace the teachings of the Prince of Peace, “Do unto others as you wish to be done by”, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”, “The Brotherhood of Man”, “And the Fatherhood of God”. And have no more wars.
W.A. Landrum,
Company A 64th Georgia Regiment.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Beau's Limerick
An Ode to Beau
(in the form of a Limerick)
His spirit survives good ole Beau
I can tell you exactly how I know
Just simply recall
a dirty yellow ball
That he tosses to a child...just so
Beau had many good traits
among his admirers he rates
but then he would retreat
and lay down in the street
as his friend Holly often relates
Whenever we'd start on a walk
no hesitancy, reluctance, or balk
But he'd turn toward any noise
Hoping it would be three boys
emotion as clear as if he could talk
If he didn't want to leave the Park
He wouldn't resist, run, or bark
but he'd hide in plain sight
as if suddenly it was night
who is he kidding we'd remark
If sometimes, he was not invited
we wouldn't get all that excited
we'd just say no
we simply will not go
But if he's included we'd be delighted
When Kath and I would fight
either morning, noon, or night,
he's come to us
interrupt the fuss
and lie closer to whoever was right
We will miss Beau very much
his endearing habits and such
as we think of him
our memories not dim
of his presence and his touch
(in the form of a Limerick)
His spirit survives good ole Beau
I can tell you exactly how I know
Just simply recall
a dirty yellow ball
That he tosses to a child...just so
Beau had many good traits
among his admirers he rates
but then he would retreat
and lay down in the street
as his friend Holly often relates
Whenever we'd start on a walk
no hesitancy, reluctance, or balk
But he'd turn toward any noise
Hoping it would be three boys
emotion as clear as if he could talk
If he didn't want to leave the Park
He wouldn't resist, run, or bark
but he'd hide in plain sight
as if suddenly it was night
who is he kidding we'd remark
If sometimes, he was not invited
we wouldn't get all that excited
we'd just say no
we simply will not go
But if he's included we'd be delighted
When Kath and I would fight
either morning, noon, or night,
he's come to us
interrupt the fuss
and lie closer to whoever was right
We will miss Beau very much
his endearing habits and such
as we think of him
our memories not dim
of his presence and his touch
Friday, April 13, 2007
Kaliffitti
http://picasaweb.google.com/JimIngramDC/Kailiffitti?authkey=Q8SRObkz8GE .
Read and view the whole story by clicking above.
A Shaggy Dog Story
November 21, 2005
Washington, DC
I define a shaggy dog story thus: A seemingly (usually) plausible story of varying length (the longer the better). As the story progresses, the reader should become more and more intrigued, even if they know it's a shaggy dog story. The last line is always an absolutely hideous pun.
Why are these stories called 'shaggy dog stories?' I don't think anyone knows really, but here's one example of the 'original' shaggy dog story:
"An advertisement is placed in The Times to announce a competition to find the shaggiest dog in the world. After a vast amount of effort and investigation (described in detail, after the nature of this type of story), the winning dog was presented to the aristocratic instigator of the competition, who said: “I don’t think he’s so shaggy”."
But over time shaggy dog stories have evolved. A 'true' shaggy dog story, in my opinion, now requires that the last line be an outrageous pun, not just an abrupt, unexpected, contrary ending, no matter how funny.
I don't know whether anyone else in the world loves shaggy dog stories as much as I do, but I'm creating a weblog that will post a new shaggy dog story periodically for distribution hopefully to an ever-increasing list of enthusiasts on the assumption that among the billions of people on earth, there are a few who share a love of shaggy dog stories.
Here's a brief example: But a caveat... a 'brief' shaggy dog story is oxymoronic, however, this example demonstrates quickly the humor in a shaggy dog story, so maybe readers, only browsing, may be intrigued enough to read the 'real' shaggy dog story that follows it.
here's how a form of shaggy dog story is described in 'A Classification of Shaggy Dog Stories'
Here's the 'brief and, therefore, unrepresentative' shaggy dog story:
All the top chess players show up at a hotel for an important international tournament. They spend the first hour hanging around the lobby telling each other of their recent victories. Their crows get progressively louder and louder as each one tries to outdo the others. The hotel manager gets tired of this, so he throws them out of the lobby and tells them to go to their rooms. "If there's one thing I can't stand," he says,
"it's chess nuts boasting by an open foyer."
Here's a 'real' shaggy dog story:
One day a frequent patron of Mulligans Bar across the 59th street bridge in Queens comes in and Ryan, the bartender greets him: "Good day to you, Roy! How are you? What'll you have to drink?"
"I used to like a lager, but I can't bear the idea anymore," Roy says.
"I've got a strange ailment...nothing I do to eliminate it has worked. I've been to my doctor. He sent me for a scan. He can't find anything wrong.
I can't fish, I can't play poker, I can't watch football. Food tastes horrible. I feel terrible. Life is not worth living. I've tried everything. I've been to the priest. I've tried mediation. I've tried Zoloft. I don't know what to do."
Ryan says: " Life is unfair, Roy. Here I've lived all of my life without a pain...without tragedy, without conflict, without care. It's not that I'm virtuous. Heaven knows that. In any system of scorekeeping, I don't 'deserve' a burden-less existence. Why you? Why not me?"
I was looking at a movie on television recently. I just happened on it. You know it? It called: The Gods Must be Crazy." I think that title contains a truth. The gods we worship are crazy.
This is a screwed-up world we live in. Hello out there. Is there anyone in charge?"
Ryan continues: "Listen, I have an idea. It's crazy, but if you've tried everything, maybe this might work. See the guy at the end of the bar. He's a former witch doctor from Madagascar. He drives a cab since he came to America. He tells me that he still practices his magic for his fellow countrymen. He lives in Queens over by the Harlem River. Maybe he can help."
Roy moves to the end of the bar and introduces himself and explains his problem.
The witch doctor replies: "I can't compete with modern American medicine. I stand in awe of the machines and medicines and techniques. I am ashamed by the primitiveness of the practices I engaged in back in my village.
Roy interposes, desperate: " Ryan tells me that you still help your countrymen. You must still retain some skills or they wouldn't keep asking. I'll pay. I can afford whatever you charge."
The witch doctor replies: "How did you acquire the where-with-all to be able to afford whatever I charge?" Do you believe that you have lifted yourself by your bootstraps through determination and hard work?
Roy answers quickly: "No... sure I worked hard, but I was born white, Protestant, male, to a middle-class family. I am the product of my genes. I didn't make a consequential decision unaffected by my heritage or my environment before I was 20 years old. I didn't earn my current status. I managed to obtain it mostly by inheritance and luck. But my luck has now failed me. Maybe you can help me."
The witch doctor looks directly at Roy and nods: " Maybe I can help. The only time I am successful with one of my countrymen, since arriving on the boat in New York harbor, is when my subject acknowledges the truth as you stated it. He accepts that he's no different than the numbers player who hits the jackpot... he receives a windfall at birth or not ... it's the fickleness of chance."
Roy says: "I agree."
"Then here's what I want you to do:" says the witch doctor as he removes from his shoulder bag a length of leather strapping.
"I want you to take this leather thong...cut it into short lengths and steep a section in your morning coffee and then remove it ... and drink the elixir. Come back to see me when it's finished. "
In two weeks Roy appears again in the bar. He searches for the witch doctor. The witch doctor occupies his usual seat at the end of the bar.
"Doctor, doctor" Roy calls.
"Yes, Roy, I'm here. How has it gone? Has your illness lessened? Have you done as I asked? Have you cut the thong into parts and steeped it in your coffee? Is the process complete?"
"Yes, doctor" Roy answers, but with resignation and defeat in his voice:
'The thong is ended but the malady lingers on."
Washington, DC
I define a shaggy dog story thus: A seemingly (usually) plausible story of varying length (the longer the better). As the story progresses, the reader should become more and more intrigued, even if they know it's a shaggy dog story. The last line is always an absolutely hideous pun.
Why are these stories called 'shaggy dog stories?' I don't think anyone knows really, but here's one example of the 'original' shaggy dog story:
"An advertisement is placed in The Times to announce a competition to find the shaggiest dog in the world. After a vast amount of effort and investigation (described in detail, after the nature of this type of story), the winning dog was presented to the aristocratic instigator of the competition, who said: “I don’t think he’s so shaggy”."
But over time shaggy dog stories have evolved. A 'true' shaggy dog story, in my opinion, now requires that the last line be an outrageous pun, not just an abrupt, unexpected, contrary ending, no matter how funny.
I don't know whether anyone else in the world loves shaggy dog stories as much as I do, but I'm creating a weblog that will post a new shaggy dog story periodically for distribution hopefully to an ever-increasing list of enthusiasts on the assumption that among the billions of people on earth, there are a few who share a love of shaggy dog stories.
Here's a brief example: But a caveat... a 'brief' shaggy dog story is oxymoronic, however, this example demonstrates quickly the humor in a shaggy dog story, so maybe readers, only browsing, may be intrigued enough to read the 'real' shaggy dog story that follows it.
here's how a form of shaggy dog story is described in 'A Classification of Shaggy Dog Stories'
All the top chess players show up at a hotel for an important international tournament. They spend the first hour hanging around the lobby telling each other of their recent victories. Their crows get progressively louder and louder as each one tries to outdo the others. The hotel manager gets tired of this, so he throws them out of the lobby and tells them to go to their rooms. "If there's one thing I can't stand," he says,
"it's chess nuts boasting by an open foyer."
Here's a 'real' shaggy dog story:
One day a frequent patron of Mulligans Bar across the 59th street bridge in Queens comes in and Ryan, the bartender greets him: "Good day to you, Roy! How are you? What'll you have to drink?"
"I used to like a lager, but I can't bear the idea anymore," Roy says.
"I've got a strange ailment...nothing I do to eliminate it has worked. I've been to my doctor. He sent me for a scan. He can't find anything wrong.
I can't fish, I can't play poker, I can't watch football. Food tastes horrible. I feel terrible. Life is not worth living. I've tried everything. I've been to the priest. I've tried mediation. I've tried Zoloft. I don't know what to do."
Ryan says: " Life is unfair, Roy. Here I've lived all of my life without a pain...without tragedy, without conflict, without care. It's not that I'm virtuous. Heaven knows that. In any system of scorekeeping, I don't 'deserve' a burden-less existence. Why you? Why not me?"
I was looking at a movie on television recently. I just happened on it. You know it? It called: The Gods Must be Crazy." I think that title contains a truth. The gods we worship are crazy.
This is a screwed-up world we live in. Hello out there. Is there anyone in charge?"
Ryan continues: "Listen, I have an idea. It's crazy, but if you've tried everything, maybe this might work. See the guy at the end of the bar. He's a former witch doctor from Madagascar. He drives a cab since he came to America. He tells me that he still practices his magic for his fellow countrymen. He lives in Queens over by the Harlem River. Maybe he can help."
Roy moves to the end of the bar and introduces himself and explains his problem.
The witch doctor replies: "I can't compete with modern American medicine. I stand in awe of the machines and medicines and techniques. I am ashamed by the primitiveness of the practices I engaged in back in my village.
Roy interposes, desperate: " Ryan tells me that you still help your countrymen. You must still retain some skills or they wouldn't keep asking. I'll pay. I can afford whatever you charge."
The witch doctor replies: "How did you acquire the where-with-all to be able to afford whatever I charge?" Do you believe that you have lifted yourself by your bootstraps through determination and hard work?
Roy answers quickly: "No... sure I worked hard, but I was born white, Protestant, male, to a middle-class family. I am the product of my genes. I didn't make a consequential decision unaffected by my heritage or my environment before I was 20 years old. I didn't earn my current status. I managed to obtain it mostly by inheritance and luck. But my luck has now failed me. Maybe you can help me."
The witch doctor looks directly at Roy and nods: " Maybe I can help. The only time I am successful with one of my countrymen, since arriving on the boat in New York harbor, is when my subject acknowledges the truth as you stated it. He accepts that he's no different than the numbers player who hits the jackpot... he receives a windfall at birth or not ... it's the fickleness of chance."
Roy says: "I agree."
"Then here's what I want you to do:" says the witch doctor as he removes from his shoulder bag a length of leather strapping.
"I want you to take this leather thong...cut it into short lengths and steep a section in your morning coffee and then remove it ... and drink the elixir. Come back to see me when it's finished. "
In two weeks Roy appears again in the bar. He searches for the witch doctor. The witch doctor occupies his usual seat at the end of the bar.
"Doctor, doctor" Roy calls.
"Yes, Roy, I'm here. How has it gone? Has your illness lessened? Have you done as I asked? Have you cut the thong into parts and steeped it in your coffee? Is the process complete?"
"Yes, doctor" Roy answers, but with resignation and defeat in his voice:
'The thong is ended but the malady lingers on."
Sunday, January 07, 2007
A Golden Sled Story
In the beginning Tripp, Chris, and Lauren learned the secret of the Golden Sled. Some years later the secret passed to Jess and James who honored it. Now it passes from them to three young brothers Nyal, Kailen, and Liam.
It is in the nature of the secret that after it moves to the next generation, those who held it before only remember that they once were the keepers. And they are happy in the memory and urge the next to use the secret wisely.
And Nyal, Kailen, and Liam have agreed to keep the secret of the Golden Sled and to use it for good.
Nyal is the oldest brother. He is bright and eager and clever and a leader. He possesses, even at his age, a wry sense of humor. He begins to understands that life can be ridiculous. He often responds to a question with the expression "Oh Yeah" and in a tone that belies the obvious meaning.
Kailen is the middle brother. He loves Nyal. He observes what Nyal says and does and often emulates him. In fact, he sometimes tries to do what Nyal has done even better. He is courageous..and mischievous. But Kailen has a mind of his own. Often he does the opposite of what Nyal does just to show his independence. And Kailen is very protective of his little brother Liam.
Liam is the youngest of the three brothers who know the secret of the golden sled. He loves his brothers and he waits to see what they do. But after that, and because he is the youngest, he often does exactly what he wants to do in spite of Nyal and Kailen and even his Mother or Father.
The three brothers live in a wonderful house with lots of rooms and especially a big kitchen.
In the morning, they get up earlier than anyone else in the household and meet in the big kitchen and congregate around the radio.
It may seem strange that they listen to the radio rather than listen to CDs or watch the television. But they have a favorite National Public Radio newsreader who they eagerly look forward to hearing. His name is Carl Kasell.
Carl often reads items that interest the three boys.
It is from these newscasts that they get assignments that require the powers of the golden sled to be used for good.
They must be alert everyday to the possibility that a situation will arise when once again the brothers set fear aside and honor the obligations of the keepers of the secret of the golden sled. This Friday Kailen and Liam turn on the radio and drink their hot chocolate. Nyal is away in Pakistan. The radio crackles: "This is NPR News and I'm Carl Kasell. Fierce fighting continued today in Iraq. The toll in lives remains heavy......."
Kailen's mind drifts. Liam is still hungry.
Carl's voice intrudes on the thoughts of each as he says "... and in local news from Washington, DC, the National Zoo alerted the media today it faces an extraordinary situation. A local golden retriever...named Beau...has inadvertently found his way into the lion's den. Just how adds to the drama. The Director of the National Zoo speculated to our reporter that the following probably happened: Robin Bolton-Smith, a family friend, agreed to look after Beau while his masters were away for the weekend. She took Beau for a walk north along Rock Creek toward Mary Anne Foster's house when the great deluge that recently drenched Washington, DC, flash flooded the creek valley, sweeping Beau away while he was swimming to retrieve a thrown ball.
Beau was able to swim finally to the other side of the creek but by this time he was abreast of the National Zoo. He must have struggled frantically to find solid ground and the highest most solid ground would have been in the lion's den. Not only that but the fence surrounding the den would have been at the moment well below the level of the water and easily gotten over. The water must have receded almost immediately leaving Beau stranded within the compound but separated from the lion's cages by a water filled moat unable now to escape. Beau smell alerted the she-lion who exhibiting a fierce demeanor frightened Beau to seek refuge in a tiny niche in the rocks within the Lion compound. Beau is now howling pitifully from his sanctuary unable to be reached by the zoo keepers because of the high water and the insistent demands of the other animals whose homes have been inundated by the storm. The Zoo director appeals for help from anyone who might be able to approach Beau."
Kailen sits riveted.
He looks toward Liam and says: "Did you hear that? That's Beau-Beau!"
He turns to face Liam: "Liam I think this is your initiation. I think we have an 'assignment.'"
Nyal and Kailen have a routine they follow when an 'assignment' is accepted. They begin the process of preparation quickly and without the need for further discussion. Each knows his job.
With Nyal away, Kailen thinks: "How do I include Liam?"
Kailen decides mentally and says out loud: "Liam, get your jeans and sneakers on and get your bike from the garage." Kailen grabbed a backpack from the hook in the mud hall. He leaves a note under the flower pot on the table. The note says: "Dear Mom and Dad, we are off for a ride down by the creek off the woods road. We'll be back later in the morning. Love, Kailen." (Note: One of the powers of the golden sled is to make time pass very slowly so that no matter how much time an 'assignment' requires it appears to normal people to be only a couple of hours.)
Kailen always rides 'point' when heading out on an 'assignment.' Liam is newly assigned 'rear.' Since Nyal is away Liam must, under the new arrangements to accommodate Liam, now ride 'cover'...Nyal's normal job.
He checks both front and rear to assure himself all is under control. The responsibility of the 'point' is to foresee any things that might delay or expose the two brothers to delay or exposure as keepers of the secret of the Golden Sled.
The responsibility of the 'rear' is to be alert to anyone who might be overly curious or even intentionally following the brothers. No one must be allowed to learn the secret of the Golden Sled except when the brothers pass it on to the next acolytes.
The boys are on the road now. They head out of the driveway out onto Willow Road. They come quickly to the village and turn onto main street.
Kailen slows to allow Liam to close beside him and says: "see anyone?"
Liam shakes his head. "no."
They turn on Oak Road and left again on Raeford Road.
Kailen turns and over his shoulder in a controlled shout says: "Hey Liam..come on up for a second."
Liam stands on the pedals and quickly accelerates up besides Kailen. Keeping his eyes on the next upcoming turn at Elroy Lane Kailen says: "Watch this kid on the Marin mountain bike. I have seen him before when we were heading out."
Without incident they make the Rocky Road near the turn off. At an exact point in the featureless bramble, Kailen pulls off quickly and hops off his bike to usher Liam into the woods. He grabs a fallen branch and brushes away the tire tracks so that no one would be able to detect where the bikes left the road. They reach rapidly the rocky outcropping that hides the entrance to an outer cave. Kailen reaches the leaning rock and easily shoves it aside, knowing exactly where the fulcrum point is. Kailen gestures Liam into the revealed entrance. Then he brushes the ground and rolls back the rock.
The boys are somewhat breathless and suddenly quiet in the semi darkness of a cavern. A thin light slants down from a small slit in the ceiling stripped by the small roots that make the opening above invisible to even the concentrated scrutiny of a determined searcher. Kailen advances, in the dim light, across the cave toward another rock leaning against a cave wall. He touches a certain point; it pivots under the slight force exerted by Kailen to reveal a narrow tunnel at the end of which a light glows brightly.
He signals Liam to enter and cautions him: "Liam keep your eyes on the light or you will get claustrophobia. Don't slow down or stop but move steadily. You'll be alright. I will be directly behind you."
Liam nods his assent and bending down falls to his knees and begins to crawl along the dusty floor. Kailen follows and keeps his focus on the end after he rolled the cover rock carefully back, brushed again the dirt in front, placed the brush inside the tunnel for the next time, and began to crawl resolutely and bravely toward the light at the end of the tunnel.
Liam arrives at the end finally with great relief,looks quickly behind him to check that Kailen is just behind him, and shielding his eyes against the bright light that floods down from the top of the stairs that rise steeply from the rocky floor of the large cave, gasps at the unexpected sight of the golden shoes that lay in splendor on the floor at the bottom of the first step. Kailen stands behind Liam and smiles with the remembrance of the first sight he had of the big cave. Kailen closes quickly the entrance to the tunnel. (Nyal and Kailen had decided, soon after the secret of the Golden Sled was revealed to them, that they should take the precaution of closing the exit from the tunnel in the unlikely event that someone would have breached all the defenses established to prevent discovery of the cave complex.)
The two boys sit and change into their golden shoes. Liam's shoes are there together with Nyal's and Kailen's and fit and he is pleased to be included as a bona fide keeper of the secret of the Golden Sled. Kailen knows that the staircase is endless unless it is climbed wearing golden shoes. Kailen attempted to climb the stairs once on a dare from Nyal but he was never able to progress beyond the eleventh step. He sheepishly had to retreat, exhausted, to pay up.
The two boys now cinch the laces of their golden shoes and race rapidly up the stairs. Liam is amazed at the lightness of his steps and the endless flow of steps as his speed increases. Before he can catch a breath, the two land softly on snow-covered rocks on the top of a mountain. Liam is dazzled.
Kailen moves smoothly into action. He unzips the tarpaulin that covers the Golden Sled; it slides down and Liam is delighted at the sight of what he had only been told about from his brothers.
The sled sits poised as if about to fly and sparkles with splendor in the sun. Kailen checks a list.
He says: "Liam open the door on the right there and check if the Sky Hook is stowed."
The sky-hook is a clever device that includes a balloon which inflates with compressed carbon dioxide, a sky hook that locates an energy filed and fixes itself solidly into its atomic structure, a stabilizer powered by a hydrogen fuel cell that enables the Golden Sled to hover noiselessly and endlessly over a point on the ground accurate to an inch or less, an unlimited-length Kevlar cable able to lift infinite weight, and an intelligent end tool that configures itself to hundreds of forms depending on the requirement at the moment of use. It might be a emergency medical bed, a power shovel, or an emergency rescue extraction tool. This tool is known as the 'Liberator.'
Liam nods to Kailen that the kit is stowed and Kailen then shouts: "Saddle up, we're off."
Liam straps himself in. He sits the middle seat responsible for operating the stabilizers that control the attitude of the golden sled.. an awesome responsibility for a neophyte golden sledder. Kailen is the navigator, operating the computer installed in a small box near the runners, and normally sits the rear seat. And he is also, in the absence of Nyal, the pilot and he now sits the pilot's seat, steers the sled and operates the visual phone that links the sled to the vast world wide store of information that often assists the brothers perform an 'assignment.'
The sled begins to move. It sits upon a carpet from Afghanistan and appears to float. But it rides upon runners made from steel from Damascus, Syria, folded eleven times upon itself to insure hardness capable of withstanding the most intense pressure. The runners morph into whatever requirements the 'assignment' demands. The steel contains bucky balls... unusual arrangements of carbon atoms that form super strong material. The 'steel' is configurable when magnetic fields are applied to the atomic structure.
The sled increases its speed. Liam is frightened as the trees pass by so rapidly that he becomes dizzy. Kailen increases his hold on the handle as the speed presses him into his seat. He takes a deep breath, tenses his stomach muscles, receives the signal from the sled's computer that elevation speed is achieved and speaks quickly into the sled's intercom: "OK buddy..lift off."
Kailen's first thought after lift off is of Beau-Beau. He knows that he's scared and miserable and that he may attempt to escape and be attacked by the wild animals in the zoo who have been freed from their cages and en-fenced areas. He quickly queries the guidance computer of the golden sled and directs it to locate the National Zoo and to proceed immediately to the location and to hover.
Kailen turns to Liam and he says:' Liam we will need to move very fast when we arrive. Are you ready to help?
Liam replies instantly: "I'm ready."
Kailen thinks: I think that as soon as we arrive and locate the exact place where Beau is hiding that we should use the Sky Hook to hover and the Liberator to retrieve Beau-Beau. If everything goes well, it should be an easy rescue.
The guidance computer beeped that the destination point at been reached. Kailen, Liam and the Golden Sled were over the National Zoo. Kailen looked over the edge of the sled and below was Rock Creek...still at flood crest...its banks overrun by the deluge of water still flowing down the stream caused by the torrential rains from the passage of Hurricane Ricki.
And faintly, then louder, came the wail of Beau..agonizing because that meant he was still frightened...wonderful in another sense because it meant that he was alive and in the place where he could be rescued. "Liam" called Kailen...look carefully... can you locate Beau?
Liam replied: "Kailen I see him...He's in a crack in the rocks near the Lion's refuge. He's barking. A huge lion is standing over the crack growling fiercely."
Kailen quickly turned to the controls of the Sky Hook and deployed the great apparatus. Up...up it went until a gage indicated that a magnetic field was present. Kailen hit the 'set' button on the control panel and the hook planted itself firmly in the invisible energy field always present in the clear sky unknown to most...but identified readily by the Skyhook's sensors. Then he turned to the Liberator and lowered it carefully to just above the lion crouched over Beau's sanctuary. The lion did not notice the end of the Liberator configuring itself into a giant loud speaker.
Kailen's idea was to send a loud sound through the loudspeaker to frighten the lion into retreating, giving him time to figure out a way to rescue Beau. As the end of the Liberator hovered above the lion, Kailen trasmited the one sound that a lion fears: the bull elephant.
The lion jumped away from his perch looking rapidly around him trying desperately to locate the sound. Kailen used the controls of the liberator to keep the now configured loudspeaker behind the lion so he could not locate it and the sound continued to roll forth the trumpeting roar of the elephant.
The lion quickly turned and ran rapidly away back to the shelter of his den. Kailen's strategy had worked. The lion was now away from Beau and Kailen could set to work to rescue him from the crack in the rocks. Just as Kailen sent the signal to the Liberator end to configure itself into giant claws that would reach through the cracks in the rocks and slowly close around Beau, the Golden Sled lurched and rose and fell rapidly in wildly gyrating motion.
Liam yelled to Kailen: "Grab the controls..this thing is going to crash if this motion continues. I'm frightened. Can we get closer to the ground?
Kailen quickly regained control of the Golden Sled, quieting its motion. Liam was relieved but now Kailen observed that the Liberator arm was not operating properly. Beau started up at the Golden Sled...recognizing both Kailen and Liam...barking loudly and happily... obviously glad to see them.
But no matter what Kailen attempted the Liberator would not respond. Kailen carefully let his eyes travel the length of the Kevlar cable that connected the golden sled and the Liberator end and then he noticed the large piece of wood that somehow had become stuck in the claw that the end has become. He could not shake the piece of wood lose no matter what maneuver he attempted.
He looked at Liam: "Liam, your initiation is going to come sooner than you might want. I need you to pilot the Golden Sled while I descend the cable and free the Liberator claw."
Lian gulped and thinking and said to himself: "I don't have the slightest idea how to do this."
Kailen sensing his concern said: "Liam you can do it. Just read the directions on the control screen. ...the computer will give you options and you choose the one that I call up to you. You yell the choices to me and I will choose one and you click the button. We can do this together."
Liam said to Kailen: "Lets do it. I can fly the sled. I promise."
Kailen decided that Liam could just do it and before either had time to worry more, he went over the side of the golden sled and using rock climber's jumars quickly 'walked' down the Kevlar cable to the end. There he was suspended over the lion's compound, just above Beau barking loudly, when the Sled lurched again. Kailen banged into the rocks almost losing his hand hold on the cable. From the corner of his eye he saw the lion appear at the mouth of his Den. He was attracted by the motion and the color of Kailen's red jacket.
Kailen yelled to Liam. "Liam can you stabilize the Sled?" Liam called" "Yes, the screen is asking me to choose between 'adding uplift or lowering down lift." What should I do?"
Kailen called: "Lower down lift...quickly Liam. I'm in trouble here... the lion is slowly creeping toward me."
Liam selected the correct command and the sled slowly stabilized and lifted slightly and Kailen rose at the end of the cable until he was out of reach of the lion who had now crept stalkingly toward the rocks near Beau. The lion has forgotten the sound of the bull elephant and not seeing one, his fearlessness returned.
Kailen thought rapidly. How can I scare the lion away and get Beau?
"Meat" he said to himself mentally. He quickly inputed a control sequence into the Liberators computer to configure a refrigerator. Before his eyes a sleek stainless steel refrigerator appeared at the end of the cable to replace the claws. Kailen quickly opened the freezer door, spotted a package labeled steak and tore its package open and tossed the meat a considerable distance away from Beau's hiding spot. The lion caught the scent immediately and raced to the meat and began to eat. Kailen watched carefully because in addition to asking the computer to configure a refrigerator with meat, he has asked thatthe meat contain a sleeping drug.
This tactic now appeared to work because the Lion began to waver and it slowly collapsed and fell fast asleep.
"Great" Kailen thought. "It worked."
Liam watched from above glancing at the control screen often checking to see if the computer was presenting to him control options. He felt very much in control. He was confident that he could now participate as a true member of the small group of brothers to whom had been entrusted the secret of the Golden Sled.
But the mission was not complete. Beau had to be retrieved from the crack in the rocks. Kailen manipulated the controls of the Liberator to configure a claw. But the configurator seemed to be malfunctioning. The refrigerator disappeared but nothing took its place. The cable just ended in a blank. There was nothing at the end ...the cable just stopped in mid-air almost as if there were something there but invisible to Kailen and to Liam.
Kailen thought quickly.
He said to himself: "What am I forgetting? Is there something that I am not doing?" and then he remembered. The Liberator was programmed to anticipate. And it had been programmed to make itself invisible when it became a claw so as not to alarm the prey. The sight of a giant claw descending open would frighten even the most tame animal or accustomed human. Cleverly the subject to be rescued would not see anything until the claw was already around them. Then the claw became visible to Kailen. He could see the claw in outline. The complete capacity of the Liberator then jumped back into his mind. Of course the Liberator would make itself visible to me because I need to tell it where to move and when to close. Liam watched from above eager to help Kailen and yet watchful of his own responsibilities to pilot the Golden Sled.
Kailen called to Beau: "Beau Beau you're a good dog...a brave dog...We're coming to get you. Good dog...brave dog. He instructed the Liberator to move the claw so that it wound its way through the narrow passage that had been too small for the Lion to get through...otherwise Beau would have been eaten...and suspend over Beau. Kailen issued the instruction and the claw slowly closed over Beau's body. Then Kailen realized his mistake. How was the claw to bring Beau back through the narrow passage...it and Beau were bigger than the opening?
Instantly acting, Kailen caused the claw to open just before it was to close on Beau. Kailen retracted the claw and re-directed it instead to close on the large boulder forming the narrow entrance. He caused the claw to toss the heavy rock away into the creek. It appeared to be without effort. He then maneuvered the claw back into the opening now wide enough to retract Beau.
He checked quickly that the lion was still asleep.
He gulped to see that the lion was rousing from sleep and turning toward Beau. His eye caught the commotion of the rescue and the lion began to lope slowly back toward Beau and then increase its speed to a run.
Kailen called to Liam: "Liam be ready to lift when I signal."
Liam answered: "Kailen, I'm ready. I've got the command queued."
Kailen closed the claw quickly over Beau and instructed the claw to retract. Beau jumped when the invisible restraint lifted him. He whined. He barked loudly. The lion jumped at Beau... he couldn't see the claw either. Kailen entered the command to cause the claw to quickly brush the lion as it rose in midair to attack Beau. The lion fell into the raging creek. Kailen and Liam watched the lion swimming frantically to get to the other side. He was unhurt but unable to menace Beau any longer.
The cable with the claw in which Beau lay and on which Kailen stood signaling to Liam slowly shorten until Kailen and Beau arrived at the sled...Kailen fell over the side and quickly commanded the claw to open to release Beau. Beau jumped up and down and licked Liam and Kailen. He was so happy to be free and to be back with his friends.
Kailen and Liam looked at each other and smiled. They were happy to have been empowered by the secret of the Golden Sled to made another rescue and especially because the rescued was Beau...their very good and loyal friend.
It is in the nature of the secret that after it moves to the next generation, those who held it before only remember that they once were the keepers. And they are happy in the memory and urge the next to use the secret wisely.
And Nyal, Kailen, and Liam have agreed to keep the secret of the Golden Sled and to use it for good.
Nyal is the oldest brother. He is bright and eager and clever and a leader. He possesses, even at his age, a wry sense of humor. He begins to understands that life can be ridiculous. He often responds to a question with the expression "Oh Yeah" and in a tone that belies the obvious meaning.
Kailen is the middle brother. He loves Nyal. He observes what Nyal says and does and often emulates him. In fact, he sometimes tries to do what Nyal has done even better. He is courageous..and mischievous. But Kailen has a mind of his own. Often he does the opposite of what Nyal does just to show his independence. And Kailen is very protective of his little brother Liam.
Liam is the youngest of the three brothers who know the secret of the golden sled. He loves his brothers and he waits to see what they do. But after that, and because he is the youngest, he often does exactly what he wants to do in spite of Nyal and Kailen and even his Mother or Father.
The three brothers live in a wonderful house with lots of rooms and especially a big kitchen.
In the morning, they get up earlier than anyone else in the household and meet in the big kitchen and congregate around the radio.
It may seem strange that they listen to the radio rather than listen to CDs or watch the television. But they have a favorite National Public Radio newsreader who they eagerly look forward to hearing. His name is Carl Kasell.
Carl often reads items that interest the three boys.
It is from these newscasts that they get assignments that require the powers of the golden sled to be used for good.
They must be alert everyday to the possibility that a situation will arise when once again the brothers set fear aside and honor the obligations of the keepers of the secret of the golden sled. This Friday Kailen and Liam turn on the radio and drink their hot chocolate. Nyal is away in Pakistan. The radio crackles: "This is NPR News and I'm Carl Kasell. Fierce fighting continued today in Iraq. The toll in lives remains heavy......."
Kailen's mind drifts. Liam is still hungry.
Carl's voice intrudes on the thoughts of each as he says "... and in local news from Washington, DC, the National Zoo alerted the media today it faces an extraordinary situation. A local golden retriever...named Beau...has inadvertently found his way into the lion's den. Just how adds to the drama. The Director of the National Zoo speculated to our reporter that the following probably happened: Robin Bolton-Smith, a family friend, agreed to look after Beau while his masters were away for the weekend. She took Beau for a walk north along Rock Creek toward Mary Anne Foster's house when the great deluge that recently drenched Washington, DC, flash flooded the creek valley, sweeping Beau away while he was swimming to retrieve a thrown ball.
Beau was able to swim finally to the other side of the creek but by this time he was abreast of the National Zoo. He must have struggled frantically to find solid ground and the highest most solid ground would have been in the lion's den. Not only that but the fence surrounding the den would have been at the moment well below the level of the water and easily gotten over. The water must have receded almost immediately leaving Beau stranded within the compound but separated from the lion's cages by a water filled moat unable now to escape. Beau smell alerted the she-lion who exhibiting a fierce demeanor frightened Beau to seek refuge in a tiny niche in the rocks within the Lion compound. Beau is now howling pitifully from his sanctuary unable to be reached by the zoo keepers because of the high water and the insistent demands of the other animals whose homes have been inundated by the storm. The Zoo director appeals for help from anyone who might be able to approach Beau."
Kailen sits riveted.
He looks toward Liam and says: "Did you hear that? That's Beau-Beau!"
He turns to face Liam: "Liam I think this is your initiation. I think we have an 'assignment.'"
Nyal and Kailen have a routine they follow when an 'assignment' is accepted. They begin the process of preparation quickly and without the need for further discussion. Each knows his job.
With Nyal away, Kailen thinks: "How do I include Liam?"
Kailen decides mentally and says out loud: "Liam, get your jeans and sneakers on and get your bike from the garage." Kailen grabbed a backpack from the hook in the mud hall. He leaves a note under the flower pot on the table. The note says: "Dear Mom and Dad, we are off for a ride down by the creek off the woods road. We'll be back later in the morning. Love, Kailen." (Note: One of the powers of the golden sled is to make time pass very slowly so that no matter how much time an 'assignment' requires it appears to normal people to be only a couple of hours.)
Kailen always rides 'point' when heading out on an 'assignment.' Liam is newly assigned 'rear.' Since Nyal is away Liam must, under the new arrangements to accommodate Liam, now ride 'cover'...Nyal's normal job.
He checks both front and rear to assure himself all is under control. The responsibility of the 'point' is to foresee any things that might delay or expose the two brothers to delay or exposure as keepers of the secret of the Golden Sled.
The responsibility of the 'rear' is to be alert to anyone who might be overly curious or even intentionally following the brothers. No one must be allowed to learn the secret of the Golden Sled except when the brothers pass it on to the next acolytes.
The boys are on the road now. They head out of the driveway out onto Willow Road. They come quickly to the village and turn onto main street.
Kailen slows to allow Liam to close beside him and says: "see anyone?"
Liam shakes his head. "no."
They turn on Oak Road and left again on Raeford Road.
Kailen turns and over his shoulder in a controlled shout says: "Hey Liam..come on up for a second."
Liam stands on the pedals and quickly accelerates up besides Kailen. Keeping his eyes on the next upcoming turn at Elroy Lane Kailen says: "Watch this kid on the Marin mountain bike. I have seen him before when we were heading out."
Without incident they make the Rocky Road near the turn off. At an exact point in the featureless bramble, Kailen pulls off quickly and hops off his bike to usher Liam into the woods. He grabs a fallen branch and brushes away the tire tracks so that no one would be able to detect where the bikes left the road. They reach rapidly the rocky outcropping that hides the entrance to an outer cave. Kailen reaches the leaning rock and easily shoves it aside, knowing exactly where the fulcrum point is. Kailen gestures Liam into the revealed entrance. Then he brushes the ground and rolls back the rock.
The boys are somewhat breathless and suddenly quiet in the semi darkness of a cavern. A thin light slants down from a small slit in the ceiling stripped by the small roots that make the opening above invisible to even the concentrated scrutiny of a determined searcher. Kailen advances, in the dim light, across the cave toward another rock leaning against a cave wall. He touches a certain point; it pivots under the slight force exerted by Kailen to reveal a narrow tunnel at the end of which a light glows brightly.
He signals Liam to enter and cautions him: "Liam keep your eyes on the light or you will get claustrophobia. Don't slow down or stop but move steadily. You'll be alright. I will be directly behind you."
Liam nods his assent and bending down falls to his knees and begins to crawl along the dusty floor. Kailen follows and keeps his focus on the end after he rolled the cover rock carefully back, brushed again the dirt in front, placed the brush inside the tunnel for the next time, and began to crawl resolutely and bravely toward the light at the end of the tunnel.
Liam arrives at the end finally with great relief,looks quickly behind him to check that Kailen is just behind him, and shielding his eyes against the bright light that floods down from the top of the stairs that rise steeply from the rocky floor of the large cave, gasps at the unexpected sight of the golden shoes that lay in splendor on the floor at the bottom of the first step. Kailen stands behind Liam and smiles with the remembrance of the first sight he had of the big cave. Kailen closes quickly the entrance to the tunnel. (Nyal and Kailen had decided, soon after the secret of the Golden Sled was revealed to them, that they should take the precaution of closing the exit from the tunnel in the unlikely event that someone would have breached all the defenses established to prevent discovery of the cave complex.)
The two boys sit and change into their golden shoes. Liam's shoes are there together with Nyal's and Kailen's and fit and he is pleased to be included as a bona fide keeper of the secret of the Golden Sled. Kailen knows that the staircase is endless unless it is climbed wearing golden shoes. Kailen attempted to climb the stairs once on a dare from Nyal but he was never able to progress beyond the eleventh step. He sheepishly had to retreat, exhausted, to pay up.
The two boys now cinch the laces of their golden shoes and race rapidly up the stairs. Liam is amazed at the lightness of his steps and the endless flow of steps as his speed increases. Before he can catch a breath, the two land softly on snow-covered rocks on the top of a mountain. Liam is dazzled.
Kailen moves smoothly into action. He unzips the tarpaulin that covers the Golden Sled; it slides down and Liam is delighted at the sight of what he had only been told about from his brothers.
The sled sits poised as if about to fly and sparkles with splendor in the sun. Kailen checks a list.
He says: "Liam open the door on the right there and check if the Sky Hook is stowed."
The sky-hook is a clever device that includes a balloon which inflates with compressed carbon dioxide, a sky hook that locates an energy filed and fixes itself solidly into its atomic structure, a stabilizer powered by a hydrogen fuel cell that enables the Golden Sled to hover noiselessly and endlessly over a point on the ground accurate to an inch or less, an unlimited-length Kevlar cable able to lift infinite weight, and an intelligent end tool that configures itself to hundreds of forms depending on the requirement at the moment of use. It might be a emergency medical bed, a power shovel, or an emergency rescue extraction tool. This tool is known as the 'Liberator.'
Liam nods to Kailen that the kit is stowed and Kailen then shouts: "Saddle up, we're off."
Liam straps himself in. He sits the middle seat responsible for operating the stabilizers that control the attitude of the golden sled.. an awesome responsibility for a neophyte golden sledder. Kailen is the navigator, operating the computer installed in a small box near the runners, and normally sits the rear seat. And he is also, in the absence of Nyal, the pilot and he now sits the pilot's seat, steers the sled and operates the visual phone that links the sled to the vast world wide store of information that often assists the brothers perform an 'assignment.'
The sled begins to move. It sits upon a carpet from Afghanistan and appears to float. But it rides upon runners made from steel from Damascus, Syria, folded eleven times upon itself to insure hardness capable of withstanding the most intense pressure. The runners morph into whatever requirements the 'assignment' demands. The steel contains bucky balls... unusual arrangements of carbon atoms that form super strong material. The 'steel' is configurable when magnetic fields are applied to the atomic structure.
The sled increases its speed. Liam is frightened as the trees pass by so rapidly that he becomes dizzy. Kailen increases his hold on the handle as the speed presses him into his seat. He takes a deep breath, tenses his stomach muscles, receives the signal from the sled's computer that elevation speed is achieved and speaks quickly into the sled's intercom: "OK buddy..lift off."
Kailen's first thought after lift off is of Beau-Beau. He knows that he's scared and miserable and that he may attempt to escape and be attacked by the wild animals in the zoo who have been freed from their cages and en-fenced areas. He quickly queries the guidance computer of the golden sled and directs it to locate the National Zoo and to proceed immediately to the location and to hover.
Kailen turns to Liam and he says:' Liam we will need to move very fast when we arrive. Are you ready to help?
Liam replies instantly: "I'm ready."
Kailen thinks: I think that as soon as we arrive and locate the exact place where Beau is hiding that we should use the Sky Hook to hover and the Liberator to retrieve Beau-Beau. If everything goes well, it should be an easy rescue.
The guidance computer beeped that the destination point at been reached. Kailen, Liam and the Golden Sled were over the National Zoo. Kailen looked over the edge of the sled and below was Rock Creek...still at flood crest...its banks overrun by the deluge of water still flowing down the stream caused by the torrential rains from the passage of Hurricane Ricki.
And faintly, then louder, came the wail of Beau..agonizing because that meant he was still frightened...wonderful in another sense because it meant that he was alive and in the place where he could be rescued. "Liam" called Kailen...look carefully... can you locate Beau?
Liam replied: "Kailen I see him...He's in a crack in the rocks near the Lion's refuge. He's barking. A huge lion is standing over the crack growling fiercely."
Kailen quickly turned to the controls of the Sky Hook and deployed the great apparatus. Up...up it went until a gage indicated that a magnetic field was present. Kailen hit the 'set' button on the control panel and the hook planted itself firmly in the invisible energy field always present in the clear sky unknown to most...but identified readily by the Skyhook's sensors. Then he turned to the Liberator and lowered it carefully to just above the lion crouched over Beau's sanctuary. The lion did not notice the end of the Liberator configuring itself into a giant loud speaker.
Kailen's idea was to send a loud sound through the loudspeaker to frighten the lion into retreating, giving him time to figure out a way to rescue Beau. As the end of the Liberator hovered above the lion, Kailen trasmited the one sound that a lion fears: the bull elephant.
The lion jumped away from his perch looking rapidly around him trying desperately to locate the sound. Kailen used the controls of the liberator to keep the now configured loudspeaker behind the lion so he could not locate it and the sound continued to roll forth the trumpeting roar of the elephant.
The lion quickly turned and ran rapidly away back to the shelter of his den. Kailen's strategy had worked. The lion was now away from Beau and Kailen could set to work to rescue him from the crack in the rocks. Just as Kailen sent the signal to the Liberator end to configure itself into giant claws that would reach through the cracks in the rocks and slowly close around Beau, the Golden Sled lurched and rose and fell rapidly in wildly gyrating motion.
Liam yelled to Kailen: "Grab the controls..this thing is going to crash if this motion continues. I'm frightened. Can we get closer to the ground?
Kailen quickly regained control of the Golden Sled, quieting its motion. Liam was relieved but now Kailen observed that the Liberator arm was not operating properly. Beau started up at the Golden Sled...recognizing both Kailen and Liam...barking loudly and happily... obviously glad to see them.
But no matter what Kailen attempted the Liberator would not respond. Kailen carefully let his eyes travel the length of the Kevlar cable that connected the golden sled and the Liberator end and then he noticed the large piece of wood that somehow had become stuck in the claw that the end has become. He could not shake the piece of wood lose no matter what maneuver he attempted.
He looked at Liam: "Liam, your initiation is going to come sooner than you might want. I need you to pilot the Golden Sled while I descend the cable and free the Liberator claw."
Lian gulped and thinking and said to himself: "I don't have the slightest idea how to do this."
Kailen sensing his concern said: "Liam you can do it. Just read the directions on the control screen. ...the computer will give you options and you choose the one that I call up to you. You yell the choices to me and I will choose one and you click the button. We can do this together."
Liam said to Kailen: "Lets do it. I can fly the sled. I promise."
Kailen decided that Liam could just do it and before either had time to worry more, he went over the side of the golden sled and using rock climber's jumars quickly 'walked' down the Kevlar cable to the end. There he was suspended over the lion's compound, just above Beau barking loudly, when the Sled lurched again. Kailen banged into the rocks almost losing his hand hold on the cable. From the corner of his eye he saw the lion appear at the mouth of his Den. He was attracted by the motion and the color of Kailen's red jacket.
Kailen yelled to Liam. "Liam can you stabilize the Sled?" Liam called" "Yes, the screen is asking me to choose between 'adding uplift or lowering down lift." What should I do?"
Kailen called: "Lower down lift...quickly Liam. I'm in trouble here... the lion is slowly creeping toward me."
Liam selected the correct command and the sled slowly stabilized and lifted slightly and Kailen rose at the end of the cable until he was out of reach of the lion who had now crept stalkingly toward the rocks near Beau. The lion has forgotten the sound of the bull elephant and not seeing one, his fearlessness returned.
Kailen thought rapidly. How can I scare the lion away and get Beau?
"Meat" he said to himself mentally. He quickly inputed a control sequence into the Liberators computer to configure a refrigerator. Before his eyes a sleek stainless steel refrigerator appeared at the end of the cable to replace the claws. Kailen quickly opened the freezer door, spotted a package labeled steak and tore its package open and tossed the meat a considerable distance away from Beau's hiding spot. The lion caught the scent immediately and raced to the meat and began to eat. Kailen watched carefully because in addition to asking the computer to configure a refrigerator with meat, he has asked thatthe meat contain a sleeping drug.
This tactic now appeared to work because the Lion began to waver and it slowly collapsed and fell fast asleep.
"Great" Kailen thought. "It worked."
Liam watched from above glancing at the control screen often checking to see if the computer was presenting to him control options. He felt very much in control. He was confident that he could now participate as a true member of the small group of brothers to whom had been entrusted the secret of the Golden Sled.
But the mission was not complete. Beau had to be retrieved from the crack in the rocks. Kailen manipulated the controls of the Liberator to configure a claw. But the configurator seemed to be malfunctioning. The refrigerator disappeared but nothing took its place. The cable just ended in a blank. There was nothing at the end ...the cable just stopped in mid-air almost as if there were something there but invisible to Kailen and to Liam.
Kailen thought quickly.
He said to himself: "What am I forgetting? Is there something that I am not doing?" and then he remembered. The Liberator was programmed to anticipate. And it had been programmed to make itself invisible when it became a claw so as not to alarm the prey. The sight of a giant claw descending open would frighten even the most tame animal or accustomed human. Cleverly the subject to be rescued would not see anything until the claw was already around them. Then the claw became visible to Kailen. He could see the claw in outline. The complete capacity of the Liberator then jumped back into his mind. Of course the Liberator would make itself visible to me because I need to tell it where to move and when to close. Liam watched from above eager to help Kailen and yet watchful of his own responsibilities to pilot the Golden Sled.
Kailen called to Beau: "Beau Beau you're a good dog...a brave dog...We're coming to get you. Good dog...brave dog. He instructed the Liberator to move the claw so that it wound its way through the narrow passage that had been too small for the Lion to get through...otherwise Beau would have been eaten...and suspend over Beau. Kailen issued the instruction and the claw slowly closed over Beau's body. Then Kailen realized his mistake. How was the claw to bring Beau back through the narrow passage...it and Beau were bigger than the opening?
Instantly acting, Kailen caused the claw to open just before it was to close on Beau. Kailen retracted the claw and re-directed it instead to close on the large boulder forming the narrow entrance. He caused the claw to toss the heavy rock away into the creek. It appeared to be without effort. He then maneuvered the claw back into the opening now wide enough to retract Beau.
He checked quickly that the lion was still asleep.
He gulped to see that the lion was rousing from sleep and turning toward Beau. His eye caught the commotion of the rescue and the lion began to lope slowly back toward Beau and then increase its speed to a run.
Kailen called to Liam: "Liam be ready to lift when I signal."
Liam answered: "Kailen, I'm ready. I've got the command queued."
Kailen closed the claw quickly over Beau and instructed the claw to retract. Beau jumped when the invisible restraint lifted him. He whined. He barked loudly. The lion jumped at Beau... he couldn't see the claw either. Kailen entered the command to cause the claw to quickly brush the lion as it rose in midair to attack Beau. The lion fell into the raging creek. Kailen and Liam watched the lion swimming frantically to get to the other side. He was unhurt but unable to menace Beau any longer.
The cable with the claw in which Beau lay and on which Kailen stood signaling to Liam slowly shorten until Kailen and Beau arrived at the sled...Kailen fell over the side and quickly commanded the claw to open to release Beau. Beau jumped up and down and licked Liam and Kailen. He was so happy to be free and to be back with his friends.
Kailen and Liam looked at each other and smiled. They were happy to have been empowered by the secret of the Golden Sled to made another rescue and especially because the rescued was Beau...their very good and loyal friend.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Limericks
First something about the Limerick:
When I think of Limericks I think of the famous first line: "There Once Was a Man From Nantucket":
The limerick, bawdy and obnoxious, is not unlike a freak-show curiosity in the carnival of literary forms. It has refused--and still refuses--to die, despite its curious role as the "vehicle of cultivated, if un-repressed, sexual humor in the English language."
Baudy example
There once was a lady named Cager,
Who as the result of a wager,
Consented to fart
The entire oboe part
Of Mozart's quartet in F-major.
Clean example
There was a Young Lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin:
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
When I think of Limericks I think of the famous first line: "There Once Was a Man From Nantucket":
The limerick, bawdy and obnoxious, is not unlike a freak-show curiosity in the carnival of literary forms. It has refused--and still refuses--to die, despite its curious role as the "vehicle of cultivated, if un-repressed, sexual humor in the English language."
Baudy example
There once was a lady named Cager,
Who as the result of a wager,
Consented to fart
The entire oboe part
Of Mozart's quartet in F-major.
Clean example
There was a Young Lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin:
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
So here below are some feeble attempts at the form:
To Martha Ingram on her 100th birthday
Martha at 100
There once was a grand Martha named Bell
With a constitution of iron, I'm here to tell
Who to all in earshot thundered
"I'm going to get to one hundred
And on this earth, I will continue to dwell”
To Mary Anne Foster and Carl Kassel
upon their marriage
There was an Anne Foster named Mary
Mostly sweet sometimes quite contrary
At the time we first met
no Carl was identified yet
but neither was a Tom nor a Dick nor a Harry
Mary Anne's man is son Brian
Talented with the heart of a lion
He's headed to the top
Master of classical and pop
Perfect as the Foster Family scion
MAF has Gilda after Grace
For her dogs deserve a place
At night it's in her bed
At least it's been said
that a man will compete for space
But as a solution to the absence of hims
came a wedding on the bank of the Thames
Carl came unsuspecting
never once detecting
he was the answer to Mary Anne's whims
Carl's a gentleman of the south
Famous for the sound of his mouth
blessed by his three great kin
Kathleen, Joe, and Lyn
gifts rare as a rhythm for youth
With Carl I've developed a little game
and I say this with a sense of shame
I listen to him with care
to see if ever he dare
make a mistake on him I can blame
But I've never rung that bell
Because as you know so well
no mistake can one detect
he is always so perfect
at least as far as I can tell
Let us now toast Carl and MAF
The question is how to be deft
to them then the best
go ride the wide crest
It's no time for anything to be left
To Lauren Ingram Mueenuddin
upon the birth of her third boy...Liam
There once was a girl from DC
As unusual as that might be
She lived lots of places
acquired many graces
As you now can plainly see
In Germany, she had a big tanta
And still believed in a santa
she learned to ski
and live without TV
And in two languages to banter
In Maryland she joined a new crew
Made up of two girls named Brew
a horse she could saddle
and a dugout canoe paddle
But to the rules she refused to hue
And then there was a girl from Marin
From where all ought to have been
She gave up her toys
discovered boys
and faced life with a shrug and a grin
And now there was a girl from France
who by now was very big for her pants
But in the metro, she sang
lived life with a bang
and in general, all lives did enhance
In New York, no one contends
That studies got in the way of friends
She stayed out all night
But kept her goal in sight
And graduated without pretends
And then she met Tamur
And from him did quickly secure
a promise for life
if she became his wife
and bore many babies for sure
Urdu is very very difficult to learn
the Pakistan customs hard to discern
but if you try
and maybe even cry
An investment will gain a great return
And now she's back in old DC
with beautiful boys, you can see
the next is Liam
can't wait to see'm
Awaited with gladness and glee
As unusual as that might be
She lived lots of places
acquired many graces
As you now can plainly see
In Germany, she had a big tanta
And still believed in a santa
she learned to ski
and live without TV
And in two languages to banter
In Maryland she joined a new crew
Made up of two girls named Brew
a horse she could saddle
and a dugout canoe paddle
But to the rules she refused to hue
And then there was a girl from Marin
From where all ought to have been
She gave up her toys
discovered boys
and faced life with a shrug and a grin
And now there was a girl from France
who by now was very big for her pants
But in the metro, she sang
lived life with a bang
and in general, all lives did enhance
In New York, no one contends
That studies got in the way of friends
She stayed out all night
But kept her goal in sight
And graduated without pretends
And then she met Tamur
And from him did quickly secure
a promise for life
if she became his wife
and bore many babies for sure
Urdu is very very difficult to learn
the Pakistan customs hard to discern
but if you try
and maybe even cry
An investment will gain a great return
And now she's back in old DC
with beautiful boys, you can see
the next is Liam
can't wait to see'm
Awaited with gladness and glee
A Birthday Limerick for Julie Savage Parker
WNCWoman's chief honcha is Julie Parker
who decided to lay down her own marker
After editing her paper for a year
She has earned a really big cheer
because now so many readers do hark her.
We say happy birthday and well done Miss Julie
to your head your success should go duly
take a friend out for a nice lunch
or for plain spaghetti maybe a bunch
as a small gift from Cousin Katherine and yours truly.
To activate your gift do this, if you don't mind
select a restaurant that's great ..one of a kind
by e-mail send us its name
and its phone # the same
This way you dine...and leave the bill behind.
WNCWoman's chief honcha is Julie Parker
who decided to lay down her own marker
After editing her paper for a year
She has earned a really big cheer
because now so many readers do hark her.
We say happy birthday and well done Miss Julie
to your head your success should go duly
take a friend out for a nice lunch
or for plain spaghetti maybe a bunch
as a small gift from Cousin Katherine and yours truly.
To activate your gift do this, if you don't mind
select a restaurant that's great ..one of a kind
by e-mail send us its name
and its phone # the same
This way you dine...and leave the bill behind.
To Nyal Mueenuddin
There was a young lad named Nyal
who often achieved ends by guile
He'd bat his big brown eyes
and emit great pitiful sighs
and wrap it all up with a smile
who often achieved ends by guile
He'd bat his big brown eyes
and emit great pitiful sighs
and wrap it all up with a smile
_____________________________________________________________________________
For Chris Arrasmith
Birthday Limerick
There once was a young lady named Chris
Who sometimes viewed the future as abyss
She married a smith called Arra
Kept to a path straight and narrow
And leads life filled with joy and bliss
For Tamur Mueenuddin
There is a great man named Tamur
good humor is part of his allure
but sometimes he gets pissed
like if his birthday is missed
and then he gets upset for sure
Tamur was born in downtown LA
that surprising we have to say
for he's not a blond surfer dude
but in favor of one might include
his little round pipe made of clay
Many a summer as a young boy
he spent on a big farm in Elroy
he'd sup at the cafe of Jarita
a steak topped up with velvetta?
these were the days of much joy
He led a gang in the city of Lahore
and he ordered their members to roar
Danny Danny is a dog
Danny Danny is in a fog
Say it again let's hear it once more
Later he went off to school at Amherst
And to take the best with the worst
On Sunday in his shalwar chemise
He'd get down on his bended knees
And eat cereal till his stomach might burst
At Columbia, his life took a happy turn
He met Chris and was fascinated to learn
That his beautiful sister spoke Urdu
A fact he would not choose to eschew
And to his good friend a bridge not to burn
And now he decided to seek the best life
so he set about to make Lauren his wife
At Cheripani his luck almost turned bad
Suppose he's gotten caught by her dad
he escaped barely by the width of a knife
So gathered all under the willows on the farm
and in a church filled with flowers and charm
he asked Lauren for her hand in marriage
offered a ride home in a beautiful carriage
and to protect her from all hazard and harm
Away they went with saddles and horses
to brave all of nature's many forces
they swam in the cold wild river
until even the horses would shiver
And marshaled all their spiritual resources
But the best came later in threes
Nyal, Kailen, and Liam all hes
so he began a long journey in LA
has done a great job along the way
with this everyone who knows him agrees
good humor is part of his allure
but sometimes he gets pissed
like if his birthday is missed
and then he gets upset for sure
Tamur was born in downtown LA
that surprising we have to say
for he's not a blond surfer dude
but in favor of one might include
his little round pipe made of clay
Many a summer as a young boy
he spent on a big farm in Elroy
he'd sup at the cafe of Jarita
a steak topped up with velvetta?
these were the days of much joy
He led a gang in the city of Lahore
and he ordered their members to roar
Danny Danny is a dog
Danny Danny is in a fog
Say it again let's hear it once more
Later he went off to school at Amherst
And to take the best with the worst
On Sunday in his shalwar chemise
He'd get down on his bended knees
And eat cereal till his stomach might burst
At Columbia, his life took a happy turn
He met Chris and was fascinated to learn
That his beautiful sister spoke Urdu
A fact he would not choose to eschew
And to his good friend a bridge not to burn
And now he decided to seek the best life
so he set about to make Lauren his wife
At Cheripani his luck almost turned bad
Suppose he's gotten caught by her dad
he escaped barely by the width of a knife
So gathered all under the willows on the farm
and in a church filled with flowers and charm
he asked Lauren for her hand in marriage
offered a ride home in a beautiful carriage
and to protect her from all hazard and harm
Away they went with saddles and horses
to brave all of nature's many forces
they swam in the cold wild river
until even the horses would shiver
And marshaled all their spiritual resources
But the best came later in threes
Nyal, Kailen, and Liam all hes
so he began a long journey in LA
has done a great job along the way
with this everyone who knows him agrees
Ernest Charles Michael Higgins
So ECM Higgins is about to be plus eighty
an occasion demanding a word weighty
I consulted an old friend
she advised me to contend
that ECMH reminds her of Warren Beatty
To Nyal Mueenuddin
upon graduation
upon graduation
from the
University of Wisconsin
2017
University of Wisconsin
2017
Nyal was born June 26, 1994 in New York City
He was very cute and round but still litt'le bity
We remember now how we felt
at the bed scene at Roosevelt
Mom is able to relate the details, the nitty gritty
In Pakistan he met a lifetime 'friend'
An 'uncle' with whom he would spend
a lot of very important time
on his lap where he would climb
Cha Cha will ever be to him a godsend
At Hyde School, Nyal was a standout
obeyed most rules without any doubt
but big Mr G ruled the play yard
any violation and you were barred
so Mr. G's rules he dared never to flout
While in DC he also met good ole Max
they learned to cover each other's backs
Max is now a marine
a future unforeseen
but Nyal will eagerly follow his tracks
Also while there you and I took a long ride
20 miles we could have gone further beside
you were never behind
nor uttered a whine
but took it all in a brave kid's long stride
Later in Bethesda from the police, I got a late call
about a party where everyone was having a ball
Nyal said "sure I am the host
but not all these not of most
No officer.. I really didn't invite them not at all"
After BCC came the farm and Royal High
where he was the man and he was the guy
Sure he loved the rural life
but needed some urban strife
so it was when to go not a matter of why
But before Madison's allure could get a firm grip
he slipped off to ole Argentina for a side trip
Maybe Patagonia also why not?
all in all, it's really quite the spot
but he could hardly wait for Madison life to sip
Climbing cranes, diving tunnels, and swimming cold
even surviving the rigor of rowing, life never got old
he made tons of friends
went round all the bends
he came out an adventurer, bad, confident, and bold
After West, at UW he sought a degree
but fun he pursued with substantial glee
he edited the school paper
engaged in many a caper
and spent a lot of time deciding what to be
In Benin, he met Bidos a cool guy
he loved the culture, the musical high
so he took off some time
learned to rap and to rhyme
Going back home from Africa with a sigh
To Madagascar, he invited his cousin James
and learned that they liked the same games
so off together they went
following adventure's scent
'Kicking some ass and taking some names'
So congrats to you dear grandson Nyal
you very often achieve ends by guile
you'll bat your big brown eyes
and emit great pitiful sighs
and then wrap us all up with a smile
And to accompany you now is your great asset
a superb family, Mom, Dad, Brothers, a quartet
plus maybe a lot of friends
if not hundreds then tens
so your future is bright, few problems, no sweat
At some point in the future, we see Paris
who knows you might meet a millionairess
to sweeten the pot
we promise to not
write any more limericks that embarra
Gene Kilby at 81
So long Gene has finished year eighty one
A great many memories in that very long run
So take a deserved bow
Friends clap and say wow
A time for new adventures and just plain fun
Hains Point in 1936
A 50th Birthday Limerick for Tamur
There is a wonderful young man named Tamur
as faithful friend, husband and father he is secure
a heritage includes ancestral Khan
plus influences of homeland Pakistan
And his family wants him the same at 100 'for-sure'
There is a young Dr naned Tamur
There is a young Dr naned Tamur
Who has always a certain allure
Whether it's hard or hair
Even I'll humor so rare
Which it's really hard to be sure
Lauren's 57th birthday
Today Lauren is the grandest queen
the fairest maiden we've ever seen
At fifty seven years of age
She's about to turn a page
a new adventure a beautiful scene
and at this age she's now immune
to a father's limericks out of tune
but we insist
hit or miss
Our sincerity one cannot impugn
L'eau
So here's your lineage our little L'eau
honored Sloppy, Ollie, Belle and Beau
now you are a pup
but as you grow up
you're going to be like them..apropos
Peter at 50
Ever young Peter is finally fifty
still sober, sincere, and thrifty
always a Dane
sunshine or rain
A nation we think mighty nifty
We remarked as Peter 'got off the boat'
in fact, I recall it and I exactly quote
'this is the land of the free
all's available but for a fee'
In Denmark it's really free he would note
He's a loyal Dane but to Larisa devoted
as well as to others it should be noted
Charlie, Sasha, Christa, and Brian
and to art & beauty, I'm not lyin'
a very popular guy if his friends voted
Now he and Lara have a mountain place
with trees, quiet, sky, and lots of space
while just for him and his spouse
he mustn't forget our tiny house
while trying to escape the salaryman race
Julie at Christmas
"Here's a little Christmas gift Julie
worthy of excitement not unduly
while only a book
worth a long look
t's a great one honest and truly"
Jess
Happy birthday to granddaughter Jess
there are treasures that you possess
family and good friends
a bright future portends
we wish you happiness and success
Marvin
At least as a DC Resident
we get to vote for President
the next race can be won
if Marvin decided to run
we back him never hesitant
Virginia McArthur
It was clear to all from the beginning that she would go far
Confirmed often, for example, by admission to the DC Bar
then by and by
she met this guy
Michael who just added lustre to her brightly shining star
Liam
Liam is now fifteen oh my god
if you agree, an electronic nod 
What will he do
I haven't a clue
But it'll be great & we'll be awed
Liam seems to have a thirst
a notion that he has nursed
he will let us know soon
and like a big ole balloon
happily, upon us it will burst
Kath
So now dear Kath you are eighty two
there's one thing I want to assure you
that whenever we dine
you can finish the wine
about leaving not one sign or one clue
Michael
At hyperbole Michael is the best
that is, much better than the rest
What about this to believe in
He's better than Trump even
between Mike & Don... no contest
the skiing in Utah is the greatest
and let me tell you the very latest
When the berries burst
Gingkoes are the worst
& this Limerick one of the lamest
Kailen
Today Kailen looks out to the skyto try to decide on just how highHe is prepared to aimAt what risk to his nameand what his choices will signify
Larisa
Katherine and I want to sincerely say
Best wishes good cheer
And we want to be clear
That you light life like the sun's ray Marvin Davis
We got to know each other in Sunset Park
a mutual love of sports probably the spark
but as friends the main reason
is that we defined as treason
any activity that was not fun and a lark
we built tunnels and forts and fashioned rubber guns
fought fierce battles against the Japs and the Huns
we kicked tin cans down the long dusty road
searched for Camel packs with a certain code
drank RC cola, ate peanuts & moon pies by the tons
played ball on a vacant lot on Jefferson Street
hitched rides to Wrightsville to escape the heat
body surfed waves at long Lumina Pier
swam to the shrimp boats with no fear
lived an innocent carefree life not to be beat
we shot out the tire of a guy who dated West's girl
visited Bill Orr's men's fancy shop all in a whirl
pretended to repair a car on Front Street
to abuse a boy who couldn't keep his feet
foretelling the lives that were about to unfurl
Marvin's favorite thing was a good old tale
Irty Glover or Mitch Celibi just out of jail
He had tens if not more
and after if not before
He would laugh the loudest without fail
Gene at 80
So a toast to good old Gene at eighty
is an opportunity to say a thing weighty
but come on now really
its best to just be silly
(as Gene's Australian friends and those of us already members would say)
so welcome to this exclusive club matey
Peter
In honor of the birthday of our friend Peter
we offer a limerick in spondaic hexameter
while this limerick may be lame
nevertheless still all the same
he's a good friend so what could be sweeter
Peter is a sculptor; a sketcher; a hands-on artist
but as to technology he says I'm not the smartest
he looks for his lost keys only under the street light
We joke with him that he's just simply a luddite
and like Bernie he's may also be a little marxist
In Copenhagen Larisa was spotted by Peter
but he could not bring himself to greet her
because he's is shy
and the evening nigh
he spent the hours scheming how to meet her
Recently Peter became of a citizen of the USA
and a very good one we believe it is fair to say
he's a dedicated progressive
his enthusiasm impressive
His Danish..now American... feet are not of clay
So we ..and we hope you agree..offer to Peter a toast
may your life with Larisa, Push, family be the best the most...
and after this evening ends
don't forget from your friends
a vote of confidence that you will always do your upmost
Ivan and Edith
A toast of Bon Voyage to Ivan and EdithIn this wish we all join now and forthwithScotland and Iceland helloDepart and go with the flowThe excitement of adventure is not a myth
McKensie
There is a young lady named MacKensie Miles
who has surely one of the world's widest smiles
and she met a guy named Pete
who she thought was pretty neat
who appears to succumb to her smiles and wiles
Kath at 80
We gather here together tonight for the celebration
of Kath and to unanimously affirm her elevation
to a place most weighty
the great age of eighty
and as the brightest star in the family constellation
Virginia and Micheal Wedding
A toast to newlyweds Micheal and Ginny
that yesterday is the start of so many
days of pure pleasure
and carefree leisure
and add up to years maybe even 120
Gene
And now joining the retiree ranks is our friend Gene
Although it's uncertain whether Cristine is all that keen
he must share the chores and pay the bills
plus acquire some age-related coping skills
so the ultimate success of this move remains to be seen
his dear friends believe a scheme just might work
even guarantee that not one chore would he shirk
cut the cord......go off the grid
of all previous notions be finally rid
in this prescription, we are sure happiness will lurk
Micheal
so HCM Higgins is about to be eighty
an occasion demanding a word weighty
I consulted a friend
she advised I contend
that HCM reminds her of Warren Beatty
So ECM Higgins you're about to become eight O
And six of your friends are eager for you to know
that we're really excited
that you're being invited
to a country birthday party to soften the blow
Julie
We say happy birthday and well done Miss Julie
to your head your successes should go duly
so take a friend out to lunch
if feeling fancy maybe a brunch
as a small gift from your cousin yours truly
to activate your gift do this, if you don't mind
select a restaurant that's great..one of a kind
by e-mail send its name
and its phone # the same
this way you dine... and leave the bill behind
so here is an addition
There is a Savage Parker named Juli
Whose feathers are not ruffled unduly
when life starts to truly bind
she finds someway to be kind
To this, all attest honestly and truly
Julie has lived all over the place
and found the fun whatever the case
Paris, Morocco or Paris she knew
and now she's settled in Fairview
Preparing for the next great race
Blessed with a circle of friends
to who she turns when life upends
she straightens her back
and as she has the knack
sees the future for what it portends
Karen and Jim Ranger
Kelly,Here's our contribution, although late and inadequate, to the 40th anniversary
celebration of Karen and Jim.
We want to celebrate in the form of a Limerick...an appropriate form, we think, for two
people of great Irish heritage.
This little tutorial is primarily for Jim as he may have forgotten given his advancing age.A limerick is defined by many as:
a five line stanza in in spondaic hexameter (remember from school that Shakespeare's
verse is written in iambic pentameter)..Huh!
So here's a version of a limerick:
"There once was a man from Nantucket
who kept all his cash in a bucket
but his daughter named Nan
ran away with a man
and as for the bucket Nan-tuck-et"
There are many more bawdy versions of a Limerick which originated as a form of
entertainment in Limerick, Ireland during weekend parties at country estates..a style
of living with which we are all familiar.
Now here's our frail but sincere attempt:Karen and Jim Ranger's 40th Anniversary LimerickIts 40 years of marriage for Karen and Jim Rangera milestone we didn't really think was in dangerand Katherine and I played an important partnot least because we were present at the startsuspicious of a smiling Irish interloping strangerThe story started for us when Karen was a childShe had 4 siblings who were unbelievably wildshe babysat our children especially Trippcrying against the screen door until it must ripfor just 35 five cents an hour….there's no denialthe story continues today for us, Jim and Kathwe take all credit for keeping Jim on a narrow pathtoward two beautiful children andwith Karen a glorious life so grandall to earn our approval and avoid our great wrathBut to Karen and Jim.. all the kidding asidea secret to you we really want to confidethe next 13 may yet be the bestmaybe with 40 more you'll be blesthowever long... a marriage deserving of prideHappy celebration...Karen and Jim ...see you next time in CaliforniaKatherine and Jim Ingram
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On Artificial Intelligence How do you think the brain works? Do you believe human action and thought can one day be explained entir...
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I was in the US Army stationed in New Orleans, La...at that time... serving as the 'aide de camp' to General Norman Vissering Comman... -
November 21, 2005 Washington, DC I define a shaggy dog story thus: A seemingly (usually) plausible story of varying length (the longe...
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At least four ways to gain access to the Internet from Fishers Island With pros and cons I am interested in Fishers Island utility infrast...
