The Irma (Parker) Limerick

Jim and I chose to honor Irma's 80th birthday through the medium of poetry.

But first, I want you to know that Jim is the prime author.

I assert this because I'm not about to to bear all the responsibility for what follows.

Second, rather than an epic poem in the tradition of Beowulf, which is, of course, warranted by Irma's life arc, we have decided upon the 'limerick' form, not least because we are intimidated by my family MacDonald's reputation of satire....reinforced by sarcasm.

So let's defend our position...you may ask why its necessary to assume such as adversarial position...wait a minute...this is a gathering to honor an important member of our family...what is all this focus on the semantic details.

A limerick is defined by many as:

a five line stanza in in spondaic hexameter (remember from school that Shakespeare's verse is written in iambic pentameter)..Huh!

So here's a version of a limerick:

"There once was a man from Nantucket
who kept all his cash in a bucket
but his daughter named Nan
ran away with a man
and as for the bucket Nan-tuck-et"

So please no obvious sighs or hoots after I begin...be discreet...however foreign that might be...think of the occasion...think of this limerick as going from terrible to just bad.

Irma's Limerick

There is a young girl from Cape Charles
about whose charms there are no quarrels
'tennie brother,' 'sister,' and 'brother'
decided they didn't want another
because they know she'd steal the laurels

As a baby Irma was quite happy
the apple of the eye of her Pappy
her Mother agreed
except when Irma pee'd
and she had to change the wet nappy

She grew to great beauty and charm
yet her mother still viewed with alarm
her penchant for being out late
risking her future to cruel fate
but fortunately she survived without harm

So she still had a big problem to solve
but solutions made her head revolve
off to Flora MacDonald she went
before someplace else she got sent
and all her dreams would dissolve

So this lass went off to Red Springs
to a college where to walls ivy clings
she learned there to smoke
and to drink bourbon and coke
engaging in Highland among other flings.

For a time she worked in DC
and lived with 'brother' for free
there she captured her mate
built the bomb for the state
living life with such obvious glee

With Seth she very often did fly
in life as well as the great blue sky
she is very good and kind
there's not need to remind
that she lifted us all up very high

Then along came a baby name Julie
very cute through often unruly
cute and all that she maybe
but competitive I am you'll see
she's not as cute as her cousin yours truly

We all love this little lass named Irma
she reminds of a shave called Burma
she inspires the rhyme
and manages to stymie
any threat that might have overcome her

So let's all together now murmur
and nominate a woman called Irma
to a post quite weighty
the ripe old age of eighty
even republicans will vote to confirm her.

Katherine Ingram