The Irma (Parker) Limerick

Jim and I chose to honor Irma's 80th birthday through the medium of poetry.

But first, I want you to know that Jim is the prime author.

I assert this because I'm not about to to bear all the responsibility for what follows.

Second, rather than an epic poem in the tradition of Beowulf, which is, of course, warranted by Irma's life arc, we have decided upon the 'limerick' form, not least because we are intimidated by my family MacDonald's reputation of satire....reinforced by sarcasm.

So let's defend our position...you may ask why its necessary to assume such as adversarial position...wait a minute...this is a gathering to honor an important member of our family...what is all this focus on the semantic details.

A limerick is defined by many as:

a five line stanza in in spondaic hexameter (remember from school that Shakespeare's verse is written in iambic pentameter)..Huh!

So here's a version of a limerick:

"There once was a man from Nantucket
who kept all his cash in a bucket
but his daughter named Nan
ran away with a man
and as for the bucket Nan-tuck-et"

So please no obvious sighs or hoots after I begin...be discreet...however foreign that might be...think of the occasion...think of this limerick as going from terrible to just bad.

Irma's Limerick

There is a young girl from Cape Charles
about whose charms there are no quarrels
'tennie brother,' 'sister,' and 'brother'
decided they didn't want another
because they know she'd steal the laurels

As a baby Irma was quite happy
the apple of the eye of her Pappy
her Mother agreed
except when Irma pee'd
and she had to change the wet nappy

She grew to great beauty and charm
yet her mother still viewed with alarm
her penchant for being out late
risking her future to cruel fate
but fortunately she survived without harm

So she still had a big problem to solve
but solutions made her head revolve
off to Flora MacDonald she went
before someplace else she got sent
and all her dreams would dissolve

So this lass went off to Red Springs
to a college where to walls ivy clings
she learned there to smoke
and to drink bourbon and coke
engaging in Highland among other flings.

For a time she worked in DC
and lived with 'brother' for free
there she captured her mate
built the bomb for the state
living life with such obvious glee

With Seth she very often did fly
in life as well as the great blue sky
she is very good and kind
there's not need to remind
that she lifted us all up very high

Then along came a baby name Julie
very cute through often unruly
cute and all that she maybe
but competitive I am you'll see
she's not as cute as her cousin yours truly

We all love this little lass named Irma
she reminds of a shave called Burma
she inspires the rhyme
and manages to stymie
any threat that might have overcome her

So let's all together now murmur
and nominate a woman called Irma
to a post quite weighty
the ripe old age of eighty
even republicans will vote to confirm her.

Katherine Ingram

A story about an Ingram relative in the Civil War

War Experiences of Mr. W.A. Landrum

(Mr. W.A. Landrum is Liam, Kailen, Nyal, Jessica, and James' Great Great Great Grandfather, and Mya Calderon's great, great, great, great grandfather)

Compiled by Mr. Landrum in 1923 at the request of the Millican Chapter of the United Daughters of the Confederacy.

On February 1st, 1863 I was eighteen years old. The Confederate Government had passed an act conscripting all men from 18 to 60 years old. At that time one DC. Smith was organizing a Company in the State and I enlisted in it. The company was made up of 18 year old boys from the rural sections, 16 and 17 year old boys mostly from the slums of the cities and substitutes over 60 years old who had been hired to take the place of some who were conscripted.

The company was gathered at Macon, Georgia, sent to Savannah and in a few days to Florida. Much of this State (of Florida) was not settled up and many deserters and Tories collected there. Our company was often sent to capture them or to guard the ports. There were only a few railroads and we marched a great deal, often on stock paths, crossing streams, and lakes so deep that to keep our cartridges dry we put the boxes around our necks. In course of time there were other companies collected in the same way and formed the 64th Georgia Regiment.

Our first battle was at Olustee Station 15 miles above Jacksonville. We had a company of cavalry and our regiment of about 1200 men to meet the 15,000 of the enemy. Our horsemen were falling back in battle order until they reached our foot troops lined up to meet the enemy.

The Yanks has a Negro Regiment hot with liquor in the front line to open the battle. The Negro troops were killed or wounded. Our regiment which was deployed about 15 feet apart to make a semblance f a battle lien was badly cut down in a few minutes. Just at this time Colquitt's Brigade that had been rushed from Savannah arrived on the field (double-quick-on-four right-file-in-a-line) was performed as complete as I ever saw on a parade ground. The enemy was completely surprised. They had 5 day's ration in their haversacks, marching to Lake City, 60 miles north of Jacksonville and on to Tallahassee the capital. They has learned of our little Army of 12 or 15 hundred troops were all that were in the state at the time. Longleaf pines were standing on the battlefield. The Yankees has artillery and were dropping the pines limbs on us.

We charged them and captured their cannon. They rallied and came again. Fighting was desperate. In a short time, we charged them again. This time they threw down their guns and ran back to the gunboats at Jacksonville. Our cavalry followed them and reported them in their boats at 9 o'clock which made 30 miles travel and 4 ½ hours of fighting in one day.

All the commissioned officers of my company were killed or wounded so as I was Orderly Sergeant, the next in authority I was put in command of the company...a 19 year old back woods boy. Well, if my head swelled a bit my hat was not pushed off for I didn't have any. I have a cap when the battle began. I think a Yankee bullet knocked it off. A minnie ball tore one side of my boot and I had to cut it off my foot so there I was barefooted as well as bareheaded.

We rested on the battlefield that night or rather we stayed there. We had left our knapsacks and blankets at Lake City in order to march the better to the battlefield. Next day we marched toward Jacksonville capturing stragglers who could not keep up with the retreating Yankees army the night before.

We had nothing to eat. We hoped to forage on the road but the country was not settled. We were without food of any kind for 2 ½ days. Some of our boys found some wild deer and shot them. We had no salt, nothing to cook in, no bread of any kind. We broiled the meat on coals of fire. I did not like deer meat and I don't like it now, but that was the best food I ever ate.

As this is to be a short statement, I must leave out details.

So from there (Florida) we went to Virginia. (presumably by railroad.)

At the 'blow up' near Petersburg we were in the trenches on the left-wing of the blow-up and met the enemy. As they tried to break our line the smoke of the explosions and battle was so dense that many of the enemy fell in the hole as they tried to cross our line. Fighting hand to hand we succeeded in holding our line.

From there we went to “Deep Bottoms,” were ordered to hold some temporary breastworks until reinforcement could get there. The enemy broke our line on our left and came up in the rear to us.

Not knowing our line was broken we thought it was our promised reinforcements until they reached us. Perhaps ten to one they fired on s until several of our men aped their white handkerchiefs.

They (the enemy) formed us in a line, marched us double-quick between a Negro Regiment with a white commander to take us to Grant's (General later President Ulysses S Grant) headquarters at Sheetpoint. The Yanks either knew or expected our reinforcements and double-quick-ed us away. It was some consolation to hear the next day that the men who captured us had been taken prisoner (by our troops.)

At Grant's headquarters, we were offered a suit of clothes and a railroad ticket to any point that we might want to go inside of their lines if we would take the oath of allegiance to the United States Government.

Our boys bit at it and assembled the next day with their suits on. We were kept in a bullpen (a staked off clean place with guards around it) several days until a boat came and took us to the prison at Point Lookout, Maryland.

There I stayed about 2 months. The Yankees refused to exchange prisoners but offered to swap a boatload of the sick men from each side. I was selected as one of the sick. We were sent to Richmond and given a furlough and transportation home, arriving at home about the last of October 1864.

As we were not allowed to go to go into battle again, my furlough was extended until Sherman's march through Georgia and tore up the railroads. I never got to the front anymore.

I took the oath of allegiance to the United States Government at home after Lee's surrender.

Let us hope that the nations of the earth will soon embrace the teachings of the Prince of Peace, “Do unto others as you wish to be done by”, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”, “The Brotherhood of Man”, “And the Fatherhood of God”. And have no more wars.

W.A. Landrum,

Company A 64th Georgia Regiment.