Limericks

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First something about the Limerick:

When I think of Limericks I think of the famous first line: "There Once Was a Man From Nantucket":

The limerick, bawdy and obnoxious, is not unlike a freak-show curiosity in the carnival of literary forms. It has refused--and still refuses--to die, despite its curious role as the "vehicle of cultivated, if un-repressed, sexual humor in the English language."

Baudy example

There once was a lady named Cager,
Who as the result of a wager,
Consented to fart
The entire oboe part
Of Mozart's quartet in F-major.

Clean example

There was a Young Lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin:
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.

So here below are some feeble attempts at the form:

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To Martha Ingram on her 100th birthday

Martha at 100

There once was a grand Martha named Bell

With a constitution of iron, I'm here to tell

Who to all in earshot thundered

"I'm going to get to one hundred

And on this earth, I will continue to dwell”

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To Mary Anne Foster and Carl Kassel

upon their marriage

There was an Anne Foster named Mary
Mostly sweet sometimes quite contrary
At the time we first met
no Carl was identified yet
but neither was a Tom nor a Dick nor a Harry

Mary Anne's man is son Brian
Talented with the heart of a lion
He's headed to the top
Master of classical and pop
Perfect as the Foster Family scion

MAF has Gilda after Grace
For her dogs deserve a place
At night it's in her bed
At least it's been said
that a man will compete for space

But as a solution to the absence of hims
came a wedding on the bank of the Thames
Carl came unsuspecting
never once detecting
he was the answer to Mary Anne's whims

Carl's a gentleman of the south
Famous for the sound of his mouth
blessed by his three great kin
Kathleen, Joe, and Lyn
gifts rare as a rhythm for youth

With Carl I've developed a little game
and I say this with a sense of shame
I listen to him with care
to see if ever he dare
make a mistake on him I can blame

But I've never rung that bell
Because as you know so well
no mistake can one detect
he is always so perfect
at least as far as I can tell

Let us now toast Carl and MAF
The question is how to be deft
to them then the best
go ride the wide crest
It's no time for anything to be left

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To Lauren Ingram Mueenuddin

upon the birth of her third boy...Liam

There once was a girl from DC
As unusual as that might be
She lived lots of places
acquired many graces
As you now can plainly see

In Germany, she had a big tanta
And still believed in a santa
she learned to ski
and live without TV
And in two languages to banter

In Maryland she joined a new crew
Made up of two girls named Brew
a horse she could saddle
and a dugout canoe paddle
But to the rules she refused to hue

And then there was a girl from Marin
From where all ought to have been
She gave up her toys
discovered boys
and faced life with a shrug and a grin

And now there was a girl from France
who by now was very big for her pants
But in the metro, she sang
lived life with a bang
and in general, all lives did enhance

In New York, no one contends
That studies got in the way of friends
She stayed out all night
But kept her goal in sight
And graduated without pretends

And then she met Tamur
And from him did quickly secure
a promise for life
if she became his wife
and bore many babies for sure

Urdu is very very difficult to learn
the Pakistan customs hard to discern
but if you try
and maybe even cry
An investment will gain a great return

And now she's back in old DC
with beautiful boys, you can see
the next is Liam
can't wait to see'm
Awaited with gladness and glee

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A Birthday Limerick for Julie Savage Parker

WNCWoman's chief honcha is Julie Parker
who decided to lay down her own marker
After editing her paper for a year
She has earned a really big cheer
because now so many readers do hark her.

We say happy birthday and well done Miss Julie
to your head your success should go duly
take a friend out for a nice lunch
or for plain spaghetti maybe a bunch
as a small gift from Cousin Katherine and yours truly.

To activate your gift do this, if you don't mind
select a restaurant that's great ..one of a kind
by e-mail send us its name
and its phone # the same
This way you dine...and leave the bill behind.

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To Nyal Mueenuddin

There was a young lad named Nyal
who often achieved ends by guile
He'd bat his big brown eyes
and emit great pitiful sighs
and wrap it all up with a smile

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For Chris Arrasmith

Birthday Limerick

There once was a young lady named Chris
Who sometimes viewed the future as abyss
She married a smith called Arra
Kept to a path straight and narrow
And leads life filled with joy and bliss

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For Tamur Mueenuddin

There is a great man named Tamur
good humor is part of his allure
but sometimes he gets pissed
like if his birthday is missed
and then he gets upset for sure

Tamur was born in downtown LA
that surprising we have to say
for he's not a blond surfer dude
but in favor of one might include
his little round pipe made of clay

Many a summer as a young boy
he spent on a big farm in Elroy
he'd sup at the cafe of Jarita
a steak topped up with velvetta?
these were the days of much joy

He led a gang in the city of Lahore
and he ordered their members to roar
Danny Danny is a dog
Danny Danny is in a fog
Say it again let's hear it once more

Later he went off to school at Amherst
And to take the best with the worst
On Sunday in his shalwar chemise
He'd get down on his bended knees
And eat cereal till his stomach might burst

At Columbia, his life took a happy turn
He met Chris and was fascinated to learn
That his beautiful sister spoke Urdu
A fact he would not choose to eschew
And to his good friend a bridge not to burn

And now he decided to seek the best life
so he set about to make Lauren his wife
At Cheripani his luck almost turned bad
Suppose he's gotten caught by her dad
he escaped barely by the width of a knife

So gathered all under the willows on the farm
and in a church filled with flowers and charm
he asked Lauren for her hand in marriage
offered a ride home in a beautiful carriage
and to protect her from all hazard and harm

Away they went with saddles and horses
to brave all of nature's many forces
they swam in the cold wild river
until even the horses would shiver
And marshaled all their spiritual resources

But the best came later in threes
Nyal, Kailen, and Liam all hes
so he began a long journey in LA
has done a great job along the way
with this everyone who knows him agrees

 Ernest Charles Michael Higgins

So ECM Higgins is about to be plus eighty

an occasion demanding a word weighty

I consulted an old friend

she advised me to contend

that ECMH reminds her of Warren Beatty

To Nyal Mueenuddin 
upon graduation 

from the 
University of Wisconsin 
2017 

  Nyal was born June 26, 1994 in New York City

He was very cute and round but still litt'le bity

We remember now how we felt

at the bed scene at Roosevelt

Mom is able to relate the details, the nitty gritty

In Pakistan he met a lifetime 'friend'

An 'uncle' with whom he would spend

a lot of very important time

on his lap where he would climb

Cha Cha will ever be to him a godsend

At Hyde School, Nyal was a standout

obeyed most rules without any doubt

but big Mr G ruled the play yard

any violation and you were barred

so Mr. G's rules he dared never to flout

While in DC he also met good ole Max

 they learned to cover each other's backs

Max is now a marine

a future unforeseen

but Nyal will eagerly follow his tracks

Also while there you and I took a long ride

20 miles we could have gone further beside

you were never behind

nor uttered a whine

but took it all in a brave kid's long stride

Later in Bethesda from the police, I got a late call

about a party where everyone was having a ball

Nyal said "sure I am the host

but not all these not of most

No officer.. I really didn't invite them not at all"

After BCC came the farm and Royal High

where he was the man and he was the guy

Sure he loved the rural life

but needed some urban strife

so it was when to go not a matter of why

But before Madison's allure could get a firm grip

he slipped off to ole Argentina for a side trip

Maybe Patagonia also why not?

all in all, it's really quite the spot

but he could hardly wait for Madison life to sip

Climbing cranes, diving tunnels, and swimming cold

even surviving the rigor of rowing, life never got old

he made tons of friends

 went round all the bends

he came out an adventurer, bad, confident, and bold

After West, at UW he sought a degree

but fun he pursued with substantial glee

he edited the school paper

engaged in many a caper

and spent a lot of time deciding what to be

In Benin, he met Bidos a cool guy

he loved the culture, the musical high

so he took off some time

learned to rap and to rhyme

Going back home from Africa with a sigh

To Madagascar, he invited his cousin James

and learned that they liked the same games

so off together they went

following adventure's scent

'Kicking some ass and taking some names'

So congrats to you dear grandson Nyal

you very often achieve ends by guile

you'll bat your big brown eyes

and emit great pitiful sighs

and then wrap us all up with a smile

And to accompany you now is your great asset

a superb family, Mom, Dad, Brothers, a quartet

plus maybe a lot of friends

if not hundreds then tens

so your future is bright, few problems, no sweat

At some point in the future, we see Paris

 who knows you might meet a millionairess

to sweeten the pot

we promise to not

write any more limericks that embarra

Gene Kilby at 81

So long Gene has finished year eighty one

  A great many memories in that very long run

              So take a deserved bow

             Friends clap and say wow

  A time for new adventures and just plain fun

Hains Point in 1936

A 50th Birthday Limerick for Tamur

There is a wonderful young man named Tamur

as faithful friend, husband and father he is secure

a heritage includes ancestral Khan

plus influences of homeland Pakistan

And his family wants him the same at 100 'for-sure'

There is a young Dr naned Tamur

Who has always a certain allure

Whether it's hard or hair

Even I'll humor so rare

Which it's really hard to be sure

Lauren's 57th birthday

Today Lauren is the grandest queen

the fairest maiden we've ever seen

At fifty seven years of age

She's about to turn a page

a new adventure a beautiful scene

and at this age she's now immune

to a father's limericks out of tune

but we insist

hit or miss

Our sincerity one cannot impugn

L'eau

So here's your lineage our little L'eau

honored Sloppy, Ollie, Belle and Beau

now you are a pup

but as you grow up

you're going to be like them..apropos

Peter at 50

Ever young Peter is finally fifty

still sober, sincere, and thrifty

always a Dane

sunshine or rain

A nation we think mighty nifty

We remarked as Peter 'got off the boat'

in fact, I recall it and I exactly quote

'this is the land of the free

all's available but for a fee'

In Denmark it's really free he would note

He's a loyal Dane but to Larisa devoted

as well as to others it should be noted

Charlie, Sasha, Christa, and Brian

and to art & beauty, I'm not lyin'

a very popular guy if his friends voted

Now he and Lara have a mountain place 

with trees, quiet, sky, and lots of space

while just for him and his spouse

he mustn't forget our tiny house

while trying to escape the salaryman race

Julie at Christmas

"Here's a little Christmas gift Julie 

worthy of excitement not unduly 

while only a book 

worth a long look 

t's a great one honest and truly"

Jess

Happy birthday to granddaughter Jess

there are treasures that you possess

family and good friends

a bright future portends

we wish you happiness and success

Marvin

                At least as a DC Resident

              we get to vote for President

                the next race can be won

                if Marvin decided to run

             we back him never hesitant

 

                   Virginia McArthur

It was clear to all from the beginning that she would go far

Confirmed often, for example, by admission to the DC Bar

then by and by

she met this guy

Michael who just added lustre to her brightly shining star

                                    

                                 Liam

Liam is now fifteen oh my god

if you agree, an electronic nod 

What will he do

I haven't a clue

But it'll be great & we'll be awed

Liam seems to have a thirst

a notion that he has nursed

he will let us know soon

and like a big ole balloon

happily, upon us it will burst

                   Kath

So now dear Kath you are eighty two

there's one thing I want to assure you

that whenever we dine 

you can finish the wine

about leaving not one sign or one clue

                 Michael

At hyperbole Michael is the best

that is, much better than the rest

What about this to believe in

He's better than Trump even

between Mike & Don... no contest

the skiing in Utah is the greatest

and let me tell you the very latest

When the berries burst

Gingkoes are the worst

& this Limerick one of the lamest

                  Kailen

Today Kailen looks out to the sky 

to try to decide on just how high

He is prepared to aim

At what risk to his name

and what his choices will signify

                 Larisa

     

To our darling Larisa on her birthday

Katherine and I want to sincerely  say

Best wishes good cheer

And we want to be clear

That you light life like the sun's ray 

             Marvin Davis

We got to know each other in Sunset Park

a mutual love of sports probably the spark

but as friends the main reason

is that we defined as treason

any activity that was not fun and a lark

we built tunnels and forts and fashioned rubber guns 

fought fierce battles against the Japs and the Huns

we kicked tin cans down the long dusty road

searched for Camel packs with a certain code

drank RC cola, ate peanuts & moon pies by the tons

played ball on a vacant lot on Jefferson Street

hitched rides to Wrightsville to escape the heat

body surfed waves at long Lumina Pier

swam to the shrimp boats with no fear

lived an innocent carefree life not to be beat

we shot out the tire of a guy who dated West's girl

visited Bill Orr's men's fancy shop all in a whirl 

pretended to repair a car on Front Street

to abuse a boy who couldn't keep his feet

foretelling the lives that were about to unfurl

Marvin's favorite thing was a good old tale 

Irty Glover or Mitch Celibi just out of jail

He had tens if not more

and after if not before

He would laugh the loudest without fail

               Gene at 80

So a toast to good old Gene at eighty

is an opportunity to say a thing weighty

but come on now really

its best to just be silly

(as Gene's Australian friends and those of us already members would say)

so welcome to this exclusive club matey

                         Peter

In honor of the birthday of our friend Peter

we offer a limerick in spondaic hexameter

while this limerick may be lame

nevertheless still all the same

he's a good friend so what could be sweeter

Peter is a sculptor; a sketcher; a hands-on artist

but as to technology he says I'm not the smartest

he looks for his lost keys only under the street light

We joke with him that he's just simply a luddite

and like Bernie he's may also be a little marxist

In Copenhagen Larisa was spotted by Peter

but he could not bring himself to greet her

because he's is shy

and the evening nigh

he spent the hours scheming how to meet her

Recently Peter became of a citizen of the USA

and a very good one we believe it is fair to say

he's a dedicated progressive

his enthusiasm impressive

His Danish..now American... feet are not of clay

So we ..and we hope you agree..offer to Peter a toast

may your life with Larisa, Push, family be the best the most...

and after this evening ends

don't forget from your friends

a vote of confidence that you will always do your upmost

       Ivan and Edith

A toast of Bon Voyage to Ivan and Edith

In this wish we all join now and forthwith

Scotland and Iceland hello

Depart and go with the flow

The excitement of adventure is not a myth

                     McKensie

There is a young lady named MacKensie Miles

who has surely one of the world's widest smiles

and she met a guy named Pete

who she thought was pretty neat

who appears to succumb to her smiles and wiles

                            Kath at 80

We gather here together tonight for the celebration

of Kath and to unanimously affirm her elevation

to a place most weighty 

the great age of eighty

and as the brightest star in the family constellation

             Virginia and Micheal Wedding

A toast to newlyweds Micheal and Ginny

that yesterday is the start of so many

days of pure pleasure

and carefree leisure

and add up to years maybe even 120

                           Gene

And now joining the retiree ranks is our friend Gene

Although it's uncertain whether Cristine is all that keen 

he must share the chores and pay the bills 

plus acquire some age-related coping skills

so the ultimate success of this move remains to be seen

his dear friends believe a scheme just might work

even guarantee that not one chore would he shirk

cut the cord......go off the grid

of all previous notions be finally rid

in this prescription, we are sure happiness will lurk

            Micheal

so HCM Higgins is about to be eighty

an occasion demanding a word weighty

I consulted a friend 

she advised I contend

that HCM reminds her of Warren Beatty

So ECM Higgins you're about to become eight O

And six of your friends are eager for you to know

that we're really excited

that you're being invited

to a country birthday party to soften the blow

                    Julie

We say happy birthday and well done Miss Julie

to your head your successes should go duly

so take a friend out to lunch

if feeling fancy maybe a brunch

as a small gift from your cousin yours truly

to activate your gift do this, if you don't mind

select a restaurant that's great..one of a kind

by e-mail send its name

and its phone # the same

this way you dine... and leave the bill behind

so here is an addition

There is a Savage Parker named Juli

Whose feathers are not ruffled unduly

when life starts to truly bind

she finds someway to be kind

To this, all attest honestly and truly

Julie has lived all over the place

and found the fun whatever the case

Paris, Morocco or Paris she knew

and now she's settled in Fairview

Preparing for the next great race

Blessed with a circle of friends

to who she turns when life upends

she straightens her back

and as she has the knack

sees the future for what it portends

                        Karen and Jim Ranger

Kelly,

Here's our contribution, although late and inadequate, to the 40th anniversary

      celebration of Karen and Jim.

We want to celebrate in the form of a Limerick...an appropriate form, we think, for two

      people of great Irish heritage.

This little tutorial is primarily for Jim as he may have forgotten given his advancing age.

A limerick is defined by many as:

a five line stanza in in spondaic hexameter (remember from school that Shakespeare's

      verse is written in iambic pentameter)..Huh!

So here's a version of a limerick:

"There once was a man from Nantucket
who kept all his cash in a bucket
but his daughter named Nan
ran away with a man
and as for the bucket Nan-tuck-et"

There are many more bawdy versions of a Limerick which originated as a form of

      entertainment in Limerick, Ireland during weekend parties at country estates..a style 

of living with which we are all familiar.

Now here's our frail but sincere attempt:

Karen and Jim Ranger's 40th Anniversary Limerick

Its 40 years of marriage for Karen and Jim Ranger

a milestone we didn't really think was in danger

and Katherine and I played an important part

not least because we were present at the start

suspicious of a smiling Irish interloping stranger 

The story started for us when Karen was a child

She had 4 siblings who were unbelievably wild

she babysat our children especially Tripp

crying against the screen door until it must  rip

for just 35 five cents an hour….there's no denial

the story continues today for us, Jim and Kath

we take all credit for keeping Jim on a narrow path

toward two beautiful children and

with Karen a glorious life so grand

all to earn our approval and avoid our great wrath 

But to Karen and Jim.. all the kidding aside

a secret to you we really want to confide

the next 13 may yet be the best

maybe with 40 more you'll be blest

however long... a marriage deserving of pride

Happy celebration...Karen and Jim ...see you next time in California

Katherine and Jim Ingram

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